la vie c'est court
mais c'est long des petits bouts
Life is short
but at times it feels very long for a brief moment
We are but a blink in cosmos time
but we think of ourselves as very very important
and yet
give it the time the earth has been around
and we will all be long gone and forgotten.
May you live in interesting times
is reputed to be a Chinese curse IIRC
Looking at social media one would think so for sure.
The humongous amount of stupidity one was never ever faced with before is now infiltrating our lives and making significant changes to our psyche if nothing else.
What is one to do really to savour his short time on earth and make it if not profitable at least enjoyable?
Even having ONE passion will surely go away with time, thinking here of chess players or sports players or even scientists buried in their lab. There is a time where you become obsolete and your declining faculties are not in demand anymore. Plus that gold watch at the end looks tarnished by the time one gets it.
The is a French female stand up comedian who was deploring the demise of television programs and many of her friends would say:
I am only watching it to see how shite it is.
WTF?
FFS
And program makers go on making shite
because hey it is popular and in demand.
What a vicious circle!
A few names come to mind here
among reality tv shows from hell.
First that habit of
WATCHING THE WATCHERS????
WTF is all that about?
Not only are we watching the crap
we're watching people watching the crap.
It's the same principle on YouTube
so-called reaction channels.
Can't we just listen to the original quietly ourselves?
Preferably a studio version
with no drunk morons
screaming his head off
during the sound of silence
of all places
or them Satanic coughers at classical concerts come to mind.
Not even mentioning you would have to be 8 foot tall now to watch a concert over all them raised phones.
But spending time on Facebook or YouTube
( I don't even Twit)
is detrimental to one's mental health
if one is attracted to comments
like a moth to the flame.
How many times do I find myself shaking my head in disbelief and distress over the situation of some.
Mind you in CONTEXT
the Internet is not the whole world
and especially the English (or French) speaking Internet
but still as far a a good survey
it is a revealing slice of our society.
I guess my next step is to avoid the comments at all but like the proverb says iron sharpens iron and one needs to know different shade of colours to know what shade one is at times.
I already stay away from the news as much as I can even though it is nearly impossible on Facebook. I used to have a Trump blocker and I should put it back on again. I just wish the blocker would ALSO block all his supporters.
Anyway. What does it matter anyway?
I am ONE of those drops after all
and the whole ocean stinks.
None of us are free as Solomon Burke would say.
and so it goes
and so it is
and it is what it is.
Nothing really matters it is clear to see
But sometimes a knee jerk reaction is enough to make me feel alive for a short while.
It would seem that this softie snowflake liberal Eloi
NEEDS a world of Morlocks to know the diff.
Et voila for now end of my short brain fart
back to my game,
my season 16 is being ended short this time
due to unforeseen vacation LOL
Or back to bed whichever comes first.
Proto
The Simple pleasure of listening to the same old songs over and over.
Enjoy it Joe while you can.
I can't memorise anything really but I remember feelings and certain moments and the one that come at mind now is my first protestant sermon way back in 1976. I was very touched and moved by the poetry and also the esoteric mood of it me just coming out of reading every Lobsang Rampa book I could put my hand on.
Anyway in this day and age there is no need to memorise or remember anything as long as the internet is on, unless you're an actor or something even though Brando manage to get away with this mortal behaviour.
But if a man live many years, and rejoice in them all; yet let him remember the days of darkness; for they shall be many. All that cometh is vanity.while the evil days come not, nor the years draw nigh, when thou shalt say, I have no pleasure in them;2 While the sun, or the light, or the moon, or the stars, be not darkened, nor the clouds return after the rain:3 In the day when the keepers of the house shall tremble, and the strong men shall bow themselves, and the grinders cease because they are few, and those that look out of the windows be darkened,4 And the doors shall be shut in the streets, when the sound of the grinding is low, and he shall rise up at the voice of the bird, and all the daughters of musick shall be brought low;5 Also when they shall be afraid of that which is high, and fears shall be in the way, and the almond tree shall flourish, and the grasshopper shall be a burden, and desire shall fail: because man goeth to his long home, and the mourners go about the streets:6 Or ever the silver cord be loosed, or the golden bowl be broken, or the pitcher be broken at the fountain, or the wheel broken at the cistern.7 Then shall the dust return to the earth as it was: and the spirit shall return unto God who gave it.8 Vanity of vanities, saith the preacher; all is vanity.
As a diabetic the future I could be looking forward to is blind and legless or as old age is advancing whatever comes my way.
So far so good I can still walk and have most of my 5 senses left but obviously my best years are behind me.
But now I am sitting here fancy headphones on and listening to the Eagles
Carpeing the Fucking Diem
as much as I can being a little late for the happy hour but there is still time.
Or Meat Loaf or James Blunt my flavours of the month lately.
Dark Side of the Moon was my first album on this headset.
For some odd reasons I forgot how good headphones were preferring the much lighter and smaller earbuds for the past few years but this brings me back to my good old days of headphones and reminds me of my ultimate "epiphany" :P which AGAIN lol brings another passage from a book I read a lot way back then.
I knew a man in Christ above fourteen years ago, (whether in the body, I cannot tell; or whether out of the body, I cannot tell: God knoweth;) such an one caught up to the third heaven.3 And I knew such a man, (whether in the body, or out of the body, I cannot tell: God knoweth;)4 How that he was caught up into paradise, and heard unspeakable words, which it is not lawful for a man to utter.
Well this man 44 years ago was lying in a bed with 3 tabs of acid inside him ( trying not to make a short story long but not very good about it, back in my days in Montreal all the good shit was gone: Sunshine barrel, Tangerine, blotters or what not and forget about the IV good shit that Huxley was having now. All that was available were them small tablets called Pink Acid and since they were small and weak this crazy bloke here had 3 of em.)
Another divergence one night I searched all night for better acid and as I was maybe gonna hit the jackpot I was pulled over by undercover cops who search me thoroughly and luckily found nothing. When he started looking undeer my belt now I asked him are you sure you're a cop now? He showed me his badge and asked me if I wanted to see his gun too. No thanks. Just checking. This is a funny neighbourhood you know?
So back to me in cold sweat lying on a double bed not a single spot of blue left in my dilated pupils probably scaring the shit of my buddies floating around me and as I was listening to Deep Purple in Rock as Sweet Child in Time came on. Well as stoned as I was I will remember this moment forever, probably never to be reproduced. These 3 bass notes became 9 notes and the whole anthem was just well fucking heavenly. Headphones Heaven that was.
So here it is again my nihilistic existential epiphanic moment.
Eat and drink and be merry and all that Jazz and when the Music is Over you can turn out the Light.
This too Shall Pass
P.S. I spend a lot of time on 9GAG lately and my comments have gathered surprisingly a few points and one of them had a comment of its own which I ignore but my anwer would have been that the bloke missed the whole fucking point.
Answering to Roy Batty's All those moments will be lost in time... like tears in rain.
He said: They wouldn’t have been lost if he had a smartphone with him.
DUH A fucking lot of good this is gonna do Him in utter oblivion.
For adults, the top ten most stressful life events and
their “Life Change Unit” scores are as follows:
Death of a spouse (or child*): 100.
Divorce: 73.
Marital separation: 65.
Imprisonment: 63.
Death of a close family member: 63.
Personal injury or illness: 53.
Marriage: 50.
Dismissal from work: 47.
Talking to Dead People
It's a bit like talking to some god or saint
or even your some shrink or to a friend even.
Mind you I draw the line
at shrinks and friends meself.
It seems to me somehow that just talking out loud clears things in a human brain that thinking alone cannot do.
I have cleared decisions as stupid as
whether I am gonna change the oil in my car or not by just talking it out loud,
So the role of god or the shrink seems quite irrelevant I guess
It just looks saner than talking to oneself LOL
Many people turn to religion or AWAY from religion
when a child dies.
It's either:
"How dare YOU take MY child? You can fuck right off then"
or
"I hurt so much I need some comfort of any kind at any cost"
TRAUMA is TRAUMA and it happens to everyone.
my good book would say
As for me and my house we will serve no lords.
as opposed to the more well known
As for me and my house we will serve the lord written by a fictive Joshua in a book he never wrote prolly written in 700B.C. in a chapter catalogued by men 24:15
Words used to SUBDUE humans to serve authorities with no power whatsoever.
How else would they get your fucking money?
Exodus never happened.
Not a single archaeological, scientific proof anywhere.
To try to rationalise every horror
and excuse and explain
an all knowing
all loving
all powerful non-existent god
is nothing short of madness,
a Herculean feat of strength
of Freud's Defence Mechanisms.
So I stick to my "guns" and still miss her.
Songs usually bring some sort of trigger
but one cannot live in blubber all of his life
so one must go on, for now.
Numbers:
If one was to analyse my state of mind I like to use my blog as a barometer of where the wind is going.
2018 was slightly better than 2017 with 40 posts vs 31.
Now interestingly
25 out of 40 were written
from July to September
AFTER she died
And in October it died.
The wind just fucking stopped blowing.
I have no other explanation
for my bipolar moods.
The is no diesel engine on this ship.
So here is to the start of a "new" year.
My boat's gotta float til May the 15th LOL
My 2 billion seconds on this planet.
Bipolar and OCD with numbers
la vie c'est court 
