Like Tears in Rain

 

I see Arsene Lupin and childhood memories flood to mind.

Of course the name was know all over the French world including French Canada.

Now I may or I may not have read some or all,
I cannot remember.

I do remember visiting the local library often and coming back with the maximum amount of books allowed.

This is probably how I read all the Tintin available and all the Bob Morane moving on after to Doc Savage.  

This is probably also where I read at a very young age 

La vingtcinquieme heure de Georghiu et 

Le Livre des Secrets Trahis de Charroux

There was probably a time where I read all my allowed books and brought them back for more way before my allotted time
and there was ALSO a time where
"my eyes were bigger than my stomach"
and I took 10 out and
brought 10 back unread and probably late.

Anyway on this subject of memory now I do remember the scent of the library in Ahuntsic, where I lived for like a whole 4 years, an eternity considering we moved every year and in year 6  we moved twice and I went to 3 different schools.

I also remember the smell  in my best friend's basement. 

These 2 places were for me refuges and havens.

But the memories seems to fade deeper and deeper everyday now.

On the last day it won't matter at all because all memories fade after we are but dust in the wind but in the dusk of life here I just wonder how far will this memory loss go?

I know we are supposed to Carpe the Diem and all that Jazz and live in the moment and be present but what bugs me is that at times I don't seem to have many other choices even this living in the moment escapes me in some sort of dissociative daydream.

There are important events that are completely erased from my memory and some event I am not even aware ever happened.

I seem to be left with feelings rather than facts.

Brain MRI is normal and geriatrician is puzzled and still enquiring but there may not ever be an answer to all this.

Reading has almost become unthinkable and even watching an hour show is problematic as I lose the plot after more than 3 characters.  Playing chess also is challenging and other interests are fleeting.  I am reduced to make silly jigsaw puzzles on the computer and try to pick some under 100 pieces.

Like Charlie Gordon I used to be an tellijent I think no I know I remember acing calculus in my forties not a small feat.

I could hold my end at chess and bridge and always boasted of my 120 IQ (112 in another test but who wants to hear that?? )

Not sure where it all went wrong either or when.

I am certain many 65 year old are much sharper than I am.

Nothing to worry too much as I said after all like the Rolling Stones said:

It is the evening of the day

If I could keep two thoughts together I could  even write a decent blog now :)

I have done a million crazy things. I have been carried by wild winds of madness but all this seems to be a distant past now watched by a stranger.

Reminds me of a few poems by Nelligan at times.

Je fus de ces heureux d'alors, mais aujourd'hui,

Les pieds sur les chenets, le front terne d'ennui,

Moi qui me sens toujours l'amertume dans l'âme,

J'aperçois défiler, dans un album de flamme,

Ma jeunesse qui va, comme un soldat passant,

Au champ noir de la vie, arme au poing, toute en sang !

I was one of those lucky people then, but today,

Feet on andirons, brow dull with boredom,

I who always feel bitterness in my soul,

I see scrolling, in an album of flame,

My youth going, like a passing soldier,

In the black field of life, gun in hand, all in blood!

When I hear all these singers talking about 500 miles or 1000 miles from nowhere I think:  AMATEURS.

I have enough mileage in me to make it to the moon for sure

Unfortunately not enough to make it back though.

But all these memories will be all gone soon

Like... Tears in the Rain.

It's raining now

Speaking of dissociative daydream 

SHINE ON YOU CRAZY DIAMOND 

is playing now so I will go and cease that moment 

Daphne RAPED Simon

 

I watched many bloggers and youtubers and watch how they struggle to stay current and all that, like this Dr Grande trying really hard to stay current and stick his nose in everything and desperately seeking relevance and clicks.

So as a rule I try errr no I don't even try I DO stay away from all the ephemerous glory of a post.

I see a lot of chess players commenting on The Queen's Gambit because that is a guaranteed click these days (but for how long)

And YET HERE I AM lol doing the very same thing now as I was forming my own opinion on the latest popular NETFLIX's Bridgerton.

My "conclusion" and it may seem absurd to many is that

DAPHNE RAPED SIMON!!!

The boundaries and parameters were clearly well established by him and accepted.

It is not HIS fault that she was ignorant about the simple facts of life and the birds and the bees.

So No means No
and CONSENT was certainly not given.

In fact reverse the roles and everyone would cry rape.

The whole story is a bit cliche by now :
Jane Austen, Vanity Fair, Fairy Tales,
 and what not about the rich and their schemes and utter HYPOCRISY.

Anyway there it is for what it is worth.
Daphne was a spoiled brat.
Simon was noble.
Eloise was absolutely SUPERB
and way ahead of her time.

The queen was boring and petty
and Penelope well annoying and whiny as expected
and as for her being the SPOILERS ALERT mysterious one
well it is just another gigantic plot hole in the story.

Might rewatch the Queen's Gambit one day
but Bridgerton is on my list of show to quickly forget.

Voila I had more to say but this will suffice.

OK OK while I am here I thought the casting of Daphne must have been a huge act of nepotism if not a Weinstein promotion move. 
The character description is hugely inconsistent, the pouting the hysteria which made the last lines which were good lines seem to be just read with too much demand on the suspense of disbelief

At least it was not another rehash of WW 2 but yeah Jane Austen has been done to death let's move on

first little story of the year

there are many words in many languages that do not translate into one word in an another language

jig: appareil de montage
and I forget most of the others 

the word I am thinking of now is FRILEUX translated as sensitive to cold

well as a rule I am quite FRILEUX cranking up the heat in winter and always freezing.

Taking hot showers and what not but not this time.

With 40 degrees plus outside I realise I don't even have to turn the hot water on in the shower.

Only cold is good enough and not even too cold for this sensitive soul here LOL

It reminds me of when I stopped a Kuala Lumpur on my way here paid hotel by the airline 

Got there late only had a few hours to refresh and they turned the hot water on as I walked in

but I realised I didn't need it at all as the cold water was almost boiling...

got there at like 3AM. hopped on the shuttle  with entrance door on the left for the first time in my life

realised I had forgotten to take off my boots on a 30+ hours flight 

never slept that night as I was too nervous to miss my flight

anyway enough on funny things lost in translation

It's a sad story...

 ...when there is no one to tell it to.

Just to keep record the last 4 days have been manic and hectic.

A new season of Diablo usually gets me going
but this one is breaking all records already
and it is only 4 days old.

Usually at my solo slow pace I am happy when a 16 hours day produce a character lvl 70 and then maybe 70 to 100 Paragon points but this one started with 

285 Paragon on day 1 then proceeded to

650 on Day 2 

814 on Day 3 and

905 on Day 4 as we "speak" now.

Even put my name on the leaderboard many times quite a feat as a solo player.

When I got up this morning I had been wiped out of the top 1000 overnite. So I work my way back and hope it will still be on tomorrow.

I don't expect to keep this long the competition is much younger than me, 

Even found a new way to play my off season Demon Hunter and brought her up to a nice GR120 today.

Now my bete noire will be the dungeon set as everyone knows I am a pet maniac and the loops are pretty hard this season but I got good hope to do the bosses in 20 mins conquest with my new Speedy Gonzalez farmer.

Anyway I am shattered. Long hours, long days.

More fun tomorrow 

I have high hopes to raise many legendary gems at levels  never seen before and maybe to never be seen again.

There is nothing either good or bad

 

Protestants think Catholics are bad.

Catholics think Protestants are bad.

Sunni think Shiite are bad.

Shiite think Sunni are bad.

in each religion there is a gazillion of schisms and sects 

who ALL think their group is better.

Jews are the chosen

Goyim are bad.

It only spells one word and one word only:

HUBRIS.

Conscience is utterly useless.

Con- Science = WITH Knowledge. (Epistemology)

A Catholic thinks it is a sin to miss a mass and his conscience bothers him.

A Protestant thinks it is an abomination to go to a mass and his conscience bothers him.

You would think that murder should be a no no in all directions but change the word to sacrifice or holy war and all bets are off.

Lying is rampant and what is just as rampant is adultery and promiscuity and that among the most religious figures and all the high society. (Epstein comes to mind here)
Royalty also with their countless bastards all over the place: Hypocrisy in the highest places.

And it is not the promiscuity or the lying itself like Shakespeare said it is to pretend that these are bad while you bathe in it in secret.

If I had to choose a side on the Christian or the Muslim I would certainly choose Protestant or Sunni.  

To ascertain  that one human being can be infallible is nothing short of madness.

Anyway I wish I could ponder more on the subject of morality since it has been the source of contention and much blood poured throughout the centuries.

Here is another one too similar to the Catholics or Shiite, civilisations like the Khmers or Egyptians and many others who made their kings gods: 

(or rather their kings made themselves gods)

an idea with nothing with trouble and disappointments.

Look at al the wild "Morality"  wars going on in USA right now!!!

American Christianity is an absolute Circus: 

a diseased pool of greed and lies and delusions, Lies and Deceits.

Mind you the field is not clear when it comes to atheism, just as in many religions every one is an authority, a pope, a little napoleon.

Some of them being found out with their pants down as well just as in the rest of the world: Lawrence Krauss, David Silverman etc

France has some distinctive different rules for sure when it comes to keep it in your pants. :) 

Enough for now I will not solve the problem of this hypocritical world in a million years.

Heraclitus vs Paul Simon...

passing by Salinger 

Don't know what it is.

I like stories. 

Correction 

I used to like good stories but something happened.

Last example is a show I haven't even finished yet and by the reviews I may or may not finish.

Hell it had such POWER, such promises as a story and it got fucked up quite fast.

I had hopes of brave new world with properly raised children etc and nope all we get is a little SHIT named Campion.

I am not sure where the hell they selected their prime foetuses to begin with but it didn't help.  Maybe all the good one died due to an critical error about radiation.

Androids raising atheists!!!

O wonder!

How many goodly creatures are there here!

How beauteous mankind is! O brave new world,

That has such people in’t. 

But nah! 

I shouldn't complain really. Who said that pointing at a problem without coming with a solution for it was just whinging.

“Complaining about a problem without posing a solution is called whining.”

― Teddy Roosevelt

Mind you his solution on the Indian problems was quite devastating.

But surely there must be ONE good story writer left out there?

Writers seem to be just swallowed down in a huge corporate chaotic grinder from what I gather often.

For one thing they are milked and drained or totally devastated like a mine site
Tortured by the Pigs
as Pink Floyd would call them.

That is the thing about having too much on offer and demanding more and more.  

The last man that did the decent thing was Salinger in 1961 nearly 60 years ago.

He said what he had to say and then FUCKED OFF.

Refusing to be milked dry or have his mine/mind emptied by the big machine.

Same thing with any artist today and the sad reason why we have so many Michael Bolton around now:
 Old Artists BANKING on karaoke/cover songs because they are  just dry.

Great names like Ridley Scott now and many others just start something get the ball rolling and DELEGATE.

So here I go whining again too tired too empty too brain dead to do anything about it

not sure if I would have done better in my prime IF I EVER HAD A PRIME. Kind of wasted that one methinks with drugs and cults and shit.

While I am here if you will permit me another gazillionth digression, I was quoting good ole Paul Simon for the errrr gazillionth time today 

All lies and jest, still a man hears what he wants to hear

And disregards the rest, 😛 Lie lie lie

and I came upon those words again:

Now the years are rolling by me

They are rockin' evenly

I am older than I once was

And younger than I'll be

But that's not unusual

No it isn't strange

After changes upon changes

We are more or less the same

After changes

We are more or less the same

And they kind of bugged me.

they seem so contradictory to Heraclitus.

“No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it's not the same river and he's not the same man.”

I sure crossed many rivers and many oceans (literally) and many-a-times too and I would dare to say I am not the same man I was yesterday or even an hour ago.

Politically well I have always been kind of
left inclined / Scandinavian sort of.

Religiously I went from Catholic to Protestant/evangelical/fanatic
to finally staunch atheist.

But in my intellectual and emotional journey I have been all over the place a bit like Charlie Gordon.

So here it is for now the wind has gone tame and I am tired again but you get the gist of  my mindless gibbering 

Ciao for now

A real Meddle or is it Medley now?

 Times and Places etc

I see a lot of Dog lovers on the internet,

(I don't me the four legged kind)

I mean among Pink Floyd fans.

I keep telling myself I MUST be missing something 

and I keep trying and trying but to no avail.

For a million reason I suppose one being my old French Proverb

Les gouts et les couleurs ne sont pas a discuter

colloquially tranlated as "to each his own"

One big reason would be time frame

1967 -1970  five albums that I mostly missed

1967 Piper at the Gates of Dawn

1968 A Saucerful of Secrets

1969 More

1969 Ummagumma

1970 Atom Heart Mother

Still in school for most of that time between 11 and 14 years old

I vaguely remember the cool kids in my school 

(of which I wasn't part of) 

playing Ummagumma  somewhere.

now by 1970 I was out of school making "some" money 

and Meddle might have been the first album I ever bought even though I think this memory might be forged: 

K-Tel 24 Dynamic Hits at $1.99 just doesn't sound so glamorous! LOL

But I vividly remember though by the time I had my 2nd job and moved on to my own apartment, bought my Electrohome Apollo 860 record player on a Household Finance
"arm and a leg" interest rate
on the 6 months $199 loan. 

My 2nd job was also my introduction to drugs: my first job being working 6 months with my dad at $20 a week. New job paid $1.65 an hour.

So back to my short time in apartment I vividly remember Seamus howling all night long as I was in different states of consciousness. 
IIRC it would have been mescaline back then by the cap still at this time.

Funny thing with old record players is that if you had the arm up but no record following the record player would assume you were playing a 45 RPM and start somewhere in the middle of an LP.

So NO "One of These Days"
but lots of Seamus all night long.

Would be curious to know where exactly the needle fell back then? Anyone?

So I have a tender spot for Meddle as my first love kind of.

Then my short years left moved on quickly again in different states of consciousness from acid to crystal meth from Led Zep to Deep Purple stopping here and there for Black Sabbath and Alice Cooper forgetting many I am sure.

Came August the 12th 1976 I was "retired" and even more "retired on October 12th 1976 where I ended up in a cult for many years that did not listen to all this devil music.

So I totally missed Animals in its time.

Comfortably Numb is 1000 times better than Dogs.

Echoes beats the shit out of Dogs.

Hell! Marooned is better than Dogs.

Shine on You Crazy Diamonds is 999 times better than Dogs.

Seamus is prolly the best dogs of them all :)

The whole DSOTM leaves Dogs in a trail of dust.

WYWH also

MY Great Four are very different than most I guess

I am not a huge fan at all of the Wall 'cept for the greatest anthem to Smack and Numbness ever: Comfortably Numb arguably also the very best guitar solo ever written.

In no particular order my Great Four are

Meddle (first love oblige plus it is great)

DSOTM

WYWH

Division Bell (and I got to DB very late)

Some of the other stuff I may have never listened to I confess.

I gave a fair go to Animals and still trying to get the cult mania.

There is it seems to me a cultic approach to Animals.

Artsy fartsy fans who looked down on the hoi polloi who don't "get" them.  It seems to me that some sheep have canine delusions. Or is it the Stockholm Syndrome now?

Anyway here is my tiny little worthless opinion among many others.

There are a gazillion factors in each of our lives that make us like one thing and dislike or not care for another.