SSDD

I envy people with absolute conviction.
I think that's what religion fascinates me, because it's that conviction, in the face of doubt or even lack of proof.

I don’t.  An old friend answered once to what do you fear by irrational people.

Even though rationalisation is also a scary word yes I can relate to fear of irrational people.  

Imagine a mob of drooling hysterical blood shot eyed people out to get you, lynch you, hang you, stone you, all led by a conniving power hungry freak who preys on their ignorance and primal urges.

Watch or read Chocolat, Agora (the story of Hypatia), Germinal.

If you got to the point where you can tie your own blood get the knife out and kill him/her because some voice tells you to do so you are not human anymore and are to be feared especially by the son/daughter in question.  

This is NOT an act to be praised.

 “But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion.”

Even though I would question what Steven Weinberg called “good” still this aphorism applies. Of course he was a banner of atheism but he was also raised Jewish and that sets a whole sense of man-made morality deep in one’s soul.

On the other hand I must say that all this nihilism is utterly fucking depressing at times.  To wilfully prefer a sad reality to a happy illusion is just fucking hard.

I kind of love the theory of depressive realism myself.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depressive_realism

Depressive realism is the hypothesis developed by Lauren Alloy and Lyn Yvonne Abramson^[1] that depressed individuals make more realistic inferences than do non-depressed individuals. Although depressed individuals are thought to have a negative cognitive bias that results in recurrent, negative automatic thoughts, maladaptive behaviors, and dysfunctional world beliefs,^[2][3][4] depressive realism argues not only that this negativity may reflect a more accurate appraisal of the world but also that non-depressed individuals' appraisals are positively biased.^[1] This theory remains very controversial, as it brings into question the mechanism of change that cognitive behavioral therapy for depression purports to target.^[5] While some of the evidence currently supports the plausibility of depressive realism, its effect may be restricted to a select few situations.

When participants were asked to press a button and rate the control they perceived they had over whether or not a light turned on, depressed individuals made more accurate ratings of control than non-depressed individuals

Which concurs with my theory so beautifully expressed by 

Robert Towne under the guise of

Dr. Claire Lewicki: Control is an illusion, you infantile egomaniac. Nobody knows what's gonna happen next: not on a freeway, not in an airplane, not inside our own bodies and certainly not on a racetrack with 40 other infantile egomaniacs.

I have been known to scream at the top of my head in a state of morbid inebriety:

CONTROL IS AN ILLUSION! J

  “All right," said Susan. "I'm not stupid. You're saying humans need... fantasies to make life bearable."

REALLY? AS IF IT WAS SOME KIND OF PINK PILL? NO. HUMANS NEED FANTASY TO BE HUMAN. TO BE THE PLACE WHERE THE FALLING ANGEL MEETS THE RISING APE.

"Tooth fairies? Hogfathers? Little—"

YES. AS PRACTICE. YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE LITTLE LIES.

"So we can believe the big ones?"

YES. JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING.

"They're not the same at all!"

YOU THINK SO? THEN TAKE THE UNIVERSE AND GRIND IT DOWN TO THE FINEST POWDER AND SIEVE IT THROUGH THE FINEST SIEVE AND THEN SHOW ME ONE ATOM OF JUSTICE, ONE MOLECULE OF MERCY. AND YET—Death waved a hand. AND YET YOU ACT AS IF THERE IS SOME IDEAL ORDER IN THE WORLD, AS IF THERE IS SOME...SOME RIGHTNESS IN THE UNIVERSE BY WHICH IT MAY BE JUDGED.

"Yes, but people have got to believe that, or what's the point—"

MY POINT EXACTLY.” 
― Terry Pratchett, Hogfather