Well it's been almost 6 weeks now so I thought I'd lay down my thoughts about my "progris".
It all started on Thursday June 3rd when I was at Nabila's, my psychologist. I did mention that I did some meditation in the past and she suggested I tried again to which I answer yeah but no but yeah but I am not very good at the D word: DISCIPLINE.
So the clever one answered, knowing me a little, why don't you think of it as a ROUTINE instead,
you LIKE routine.
I swear the devil is a woman lol.
So here I am starting on
Friday June 4th and now
Saturday July 10th and I hardly missed a day IIRC,
maybe ONE but I forgot.
Oh yeah the deal with said psychologist was once a week.
It has been and still is a compelling provocative experience.
(I had to hit the Thesaurus for a few synonyms for interesting lol)
Now one could really get completely lost researching the subject.
Wow there is a gazillion gurus out there and all of them better than the others. I was trying to find the middle way in the middle way.
Not too keen on the strong Buddhist approach as it irks my sceptical humanist atheist nature.
So I tried different approach especially one monk who I thought was a bit more balanced even though as much as I respect him I would not live his life for sure.
Also Jon Kabat-Zinn is usually a safe bet as well and for some odd reason
I tend to stay away from Sam Harris, some sort of irrational dislike somehow and prolly not antisemitism lol as JKZ is alright in my book.
Speaking of I was pleased to hear my fav monk that they had been MANY holocausts.
So now what? I would like to think that it has already produced some benefits I think even though I suck at introspection but one example springs to mind dealing with greed and aversion and likes and dislikes and what not.
I was sitting in the car really annoyed by a really dirty windscreen and it always creates some tension when I ask for it to be cleaned so instead I put that under my dislikes and decided to observe my reaction instead of reacting to it.
between the two poles of expression and suppression
lies a third option - mere observation.
Otherwise I don't know life goes on I had added some walking meditations to this and then just some plain walking but I have been held down lately by an infected big toe and some lousy stormy weather.
I DID do my 4 PM meditation though today my usual 30 mins even though I have had 40 and 45 mins too lately.
Still looking for the middle way in the middle way though :P
Oh yeah as I observe my thoughts and my mind my place of predilection seems to be the near future LOL
My mind always wander to what I will do right after my meditation and
I call my meditation a success when I don't react to all these urges LOL
I have been quite proud of myself too last few days for NOT looking at my timer or at the time another daily obsessi0n of mine to know what time it is and how long til this or that.
I just wait for my bell more or less patiently.
So here it is my last 40 days which I noticed also seem to keep me away from my blog???
Correlation is NOT Causation or so they say.
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