LIKE TEARS IN RAIN

 

I was born too early.

Or too late who knows? lol

I had a nice "stream of consciousness" earlier and all in French funnily enough and I let it pass and didn't write it down and now It's all gone... like tears in rain. 

I feel a bit like Pharaoh and his lost dream.  

Funny how heroes of the past were basically 

mentalists and tricksters: 

Joseph my homonym.

Anyway had I been born later brings a gazillion maybes. 

I am expecting the day where they find a cure for adult neuroblastoma and go nice timing assholes.

Also it may not all be as good as it seems as Charlie Booker has shown us time and time again.  

Recalling every single auditive and visual memory may not be as good as one thinks.

Prolly a bit narcissistic in fact to want to do so 

to use the n word again.

Trying to remember a bit and it might lose something in translation it was about a comment I got on my 4th booster and me using the word holy trinity and offending a holy roller.

How moot it was to try any debate or discussion on this subject since I HAD been there for years and years and there was no argument back then that would have convinced me whatsoever. 

My self-righteousness was an impregnable fortress.

I was thinking how much I hate the word "SIN" 

since this word has been used for thousands of years 

by every charlatan and control freak on the planet to use a non existent power to CONTROL his peers his equals if not superiors.

But if there was one SIN and only one well it would be this one:

SELF-RIGHTEOUSNESS.  

It's a hideous ugly beast impossible to tame.

So here it is in a nutshell: diluted vapors of past vapors.

If meditation teaches us one thing is that thoughts are pretty well just that coming and going or RISING and FALLING as this monk says just like our BREATH... RISING... FALLIN... Risin'... Fallin'

TIL ONE DAY it falls and never RISES again no matter what delusion one might have about the afterlife.

THE original words for SPIRIT AND SOUL in Hebrew and In Greek are just that BREATH!  HOT AIR.  And when it's gone YOU'RE GONE.  

No AIR No Life an inexorable law of nature.

Harsh reality I know to realise that the best person you have ever known and the evilest person who ever existed are just EQUAL now.

FLATTENED even by the Great Equaliser personalised under the Grim Reaper.

That feeling reminds me of that French Canadian Poem I quote once in a while.

Devant le feu

Émile NELLIGAN

Recueil : "Émile Nelligan et son œuvre - Le Jardin de l'Enfance"

Par les hivers anciens, quand nous portions la robe,

Tout petits, frais, rosés, tapageurs et joufflus,

Avec nos grands albums, hélas ! Que l’on n’a plus,

Comme on croyait déjà posséder tout le globe !

Assis en rond, le soir, au coin de feu, par groupes,

Image sur image, ainsi combien joyeux

Nous feuilletions, voyant, la gloire dans les yeux,

Passer de beaux dragons qui chevauchaient en troupes !

Je fus de ces heureux d’alors, mais aujourd’hui,

Les pieds sur les chenets, le front terne d’ennui,

Moi qui me sens toujours l’amertume dans l’âme,

J’aperçois défiler, dans un album de flamme,

Ma jeunesse qui va, comme un soldat passant,

Au champ noir de la vie, arme au poing, toute en sang !

the first half being life as a delusional believer

the second being facing reality.

You can do your own translation if you'd like
to all my non-readers.

Anyway if I have learned one thing lately is that all debates are rather sterile moot and utterly  pointless:

All these intellectuals proud giants wielding their humongous dicks publicly and EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM after hours and hours of debate goes back exactly to what he was before the debate.

Obviously Paul Simon was smarter than all of them.

Now the years are rolling by me

They are rockin' evenly

I am older than I once was

And younger than I'll be

But that's not unusual

No it isn't strange

After changes upon changes

We are more or less the same

After changes

We are more or less the same

Lie-la-lie...

Mind you I am not the same...
I have gone from devout choirboy (in Latin and all)
to zealous fringe evangelical maniac
to now a staunch non-believer / atheist
(some prefer the word agnostic, semantics, semantics)

It just SEEMS to me the only logical outcome to all this madness we have created and an unfortunate twist in our simian evolution to make things so false and so complicated with as many  different versions of "TRUTH" as there are individuals. 

TRUTH SUPPOSEDLY BEING ALETHEIA or A LACK OF CONCEALMENT  AND FUCK KNOWS THIS WORLD IS CHOCK FULL OF CONCEALMENT AND TREACHERY EVERYWHERE

not counting the very things we conceal to our very selves.

I guess we all belong in the Twisted Sisters band :P

So here it is my latest addition in this pandemic to my struggling poor blog 

for no one to read again 

nowhere men 

all on the road to nowhere...

halfway there 

just like Supertramp's RUDY.