Be Kind or Else

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."

Wrongly attributed to Plato.

Most of us are acutely aware of our own struggles and we are preoccupied with our own problems. We sympathize with ourselves because we see our own difficulties so clearly. But Ian MacLaren noted wisely, 

“Let us be kind to one another, for most of us are fighting a hard battle.”

Everyone??? 
Most of us? How many is most?

My interpretation:

Be kind or ready to go all the way and kill the Neanderthal before he kills you.

Some are fighting a hard battle. 

OTHERS are just big APES.  

Neanderthals and even though their DNA might say 
they are 3% Neanderthals 

their actions say more like 97%.

And most importantly DO NOT give these apes a drink now.

Some are fighting hard battles

Others are just plain ASSHOLES.

White Trash, Rednecks, Whatchamacallit.

Might as well be kind to a tiger and see what happens.

There you go my 2 bits on new age nonfuckingsense.

Already living the dystopia

No need to write a book really we're already in it.

Maybe not 1984 maybe not Brave New World maybe a mix of both
or a dystopia
with its own horrors in it
(I was gonna say qualities)

I don't go out much but when I do,  
I feel a bit sad and depressed and shake my head in disbelief 
strongly reminded of this Futurama meme: 
I don't wanna live on this planet anymore.

Yesterday was a good example of that or was it a bad example now?

Most of my outings seem to be  at some doctor's office, either at the hospital or the clinic.

And most of them unfortunately along with many other governemental agencies and waiting rooms have seen fit to ENTERTAIN you with a giant screen TV blasting utter shit at you non-stop. 

Daytime TV is just the worst and night time TV is not much better.

This time it was some blonde phoney bimbo expert on what the royals do and hide. A professional gossiper that is highly overpaid to gamble and to dribble shit about things she knows nothing of: 

a loser busybody who has no fucking life of her own talking about royals wardrobes and how much they spent and bla bla bla and here I am not captive but captured in this pure dystopian hell.

Usually I do manage very well to evade such crap by carrying my lifesaving earphones but in a strange and hostile environment I HAD to keep my ears open for one someone called my name. 

When I go with Sue, I usually let her "suffer" and she can tap me on the shoulder whenever they're ready and calling.

Plus there is the sad trip on the train with everyone glued to their phone pitonning non stop or getting their phone out every two minutes and elbowing you while pitonning.

Now I do understand most of you won't be familiar with the verb to piton.  

Pitonner in French is to push buttons and that is what the world does constantly these days like the worst Black Mirror nightmare.  

My hero on the train usually is the one who has nothing in his hands and can live peacefully with one self is at ease with his mind or the odd one reading a book what a fucking novelty.

And on the street it is the same thing: dodge the zombies.

I am of the unpopular opinion that walking and texting should be as illegal as driving and texting.  

I have to refrain myself not to clothes like a zombie walker I just dodge just like in a good WWE show.

Anyway Charlie Brooker certainly does not have to do too much extrapolation to write his Black Mirror series.

I have been reluctant also to add my review to places I went  not wanting to join the crowd again that can make or sink a business as it reminds me too much of the horrific episode of Black Mirror's Nosedive.

Anyway we all have many parts and are quite dichotomic by nature but there is a part of me that wants to live forever to see unbelievalble fucking things

and then there is a part of me that can't wait to meet face to face the Great Equaliser, the Grim Reaper Himself. 

Come and pick me up Charon and carry me across the Styx ASAP.

                                                                           

Colonialism Short and Bilingual

Le colonialisme qu'il soit Français, Anglais, Hollandais, Belge, Espagnol,
Portugais, Chinois ou quoi que ce soit
est une HORREUR de l'histoire humaine peu importe qui le pratique.  Traiter des humains egaux comme des bêtes subalternes est "inhumain" entre quelques autres epithètes pour expliquer, justifier ou rationaliser notre "belle" histoire. 

Les autres c'est nous aussi. Nous sommes les autres.
Pas besoin de la loi de Godwin pour se rappeler que l'histoire a toujours été horrible et que beaucoup ont participé a cette horreur y compris les Français.  Chaque conquérant et empereur a commis ces horreurs. Gengis Khan, Napoleon, et rois de toutes nations, se pensant meilleurs et plus forts et plus riches, et plus sage et le pire plus "civilisés.  "Montrons a ces sauvages comment on boit le thé proprement par ici."
Et voila ma petite opinion sur le colonialisme.  Toutes nos écoles et tout notre éducation nous enseigne toujours que "naturellement" nous sommes les bons et les autres sont les méchants et l'histoire continue a être horrible.

Google translation

Colonialism whether French, English, Dutch, Belgian, Spanish, Portuguese, Chinese or anything
is a HORROR of human history no matter who practices it. Treating equal humans as subordinate beasts is "inhuman" between a few other epithets to explain, justify or rationalize our "beautiful" story. The others are us too.
No need for Godwin's law to remember that history has always been horrible and that many have participated in this horror including the French. Every conqueror and emperor has committed these horrors. Genghis Khan, Napoleon, and kings of all nations, thinking themselves better and stronger and richer, and wiser and worse more "civilized." Let's show these savages how to drink tea properly here. "
And here is my little opinion on colonialism. All our schools and all our education always teach us that "naturally" we are the good ones and the others are the bad ones and the story continues to be horrible.

We all have our reasons is a misnomer really.

We all have 

our 

EXCUSES, 

or our 

RATIONALISATIONS,

and a few other Freudian Defence Mechanisms 
and Cognition Biases and FAILURES.

Reason is the capacity for consciously making sense of things, establishing and verifying facts, applying logic, and changing or justifying practices, institutions, and beliefs based on new or existing information.

Rationalisation is the prerogative of all I would say.  

Even the more rational are quite irrational in so many ways,
Sam Harris comes to mind here,
among million of others.
I like the Denys Arcand's line in one of his movies
Intellectuals make the worse parents.
Because bottom line our very best is just not good enough

I sound like an echo of myself and this is what I am.
Our greatest minds of this century will be ridiculed next century,
Speaking of, as much as Freud is discredited in this new century
by people who will ALSO be discredited in the next century,
without going into his obsession with sex and libido
I still can relate very much to the Defence Mechanisms that bare his name
even though at times some people think
the best Defense is Offense

and are very aggressive in their Denial, Projection, Identification, and especially Rationalisations. 
I wish I had more insight on the subject but watching some of them so-called Sannyasin yesterday in NETFLIX's Wild Wild Country was fascinating from a psychological point of view.
How so-called intelligent men could twist their minds and perform unbelievable psyche contortions and still live with themselves.
It would seem that to be an idealist is to write Victim on your forehead and a PLEASE SHOOT ME.
Now to be a realist well whatever that maybe...
it seems like reality is 7 billion different concepts at time.
My reality Your reality etc
"My reality is closer to the real reality than your reality"
 for whatever that means.
What is the "reality" of a cult member really?
What is the "reality" of a soldier while we're here?
Something he can hardly cope with and many turn to PTSD or Suicide.
What is the reality of a scientist (a so-called rational person) who is trying to get funds for his pet project

or has to deal deeply with all sorts of twists in his mind for experimenting on highly unethical things in very unethical ways?
What was the reality of all those scientists on the Manhattan Project 

or those working on NAPALM at Dow Chemicals

or those working at Dupont or Lockheed

or any other manufacturer of DEATH.
Just echoing the same old things over and over but they STILL have no answers.

You want to track each trickle

Back to its source

And then scream up the faucet

Till your face is hoarse

'Cause you're surrounded by a world's worth

Of things you just can't excuse

But you've got the hard cough of a chain smoker

And you're at the arctic circle playing strip poker

And it's getting colder and colder

Everytime you lose

So go ahead

Make your next bold move

Tell us

What's the next thing you're gonna have to prove

To yourself

Ani DiFranco

Another thing I said before:

Fallacious Logic Used to Quell Cognitive Dissonance? 
No Shit Sherlock! 
It Happens Every Day, Many Times a Day!



Enough said and resaid and reresaid 

but still no answers to the million trillion inexcusable things

one see and even more 
the one we don't see, 
done in the dark 

Dirty Deeds Done Cheap 
and not so Cheap.

Rinse & Repeat

P.S. While I am here the very "cultic" practice of Ostracisation also is a funny way to alter reality.

P.P.S. Funny that the etymology of Rationalisation goes back to reason and rational.

Why Not!

Here we go again trying to watch Netflix Wild Wild Country

Beginning of episode 2 outa 6 already and I am struggling.

For one thing here is the definition of a "REAL" Sannyasin.

Sannyasa is a form of asceticism, is marked by renunciation of material desires and prejudices, represented by a state of disinterest and detachment from material life, and has the purpose of spending one's life in peaceful, love-inspired, simple spiritual life.

Which makes Chandra Mohan Jain (aka the boss with many names AND a Rolls Royce) 

a total fake 

and his control freak scapegoat, Sheela,  a bigger fake after all.

There has been and will be charlatans in this world forever unfortunately.

As P.T. Barnum allegedly said there is a sucker is born every minute.

What bugs me mainly is that Sheela seemed to have got away with murder.

How the fuck does one that gets a  TWENTY YEARS sentence gets off with TWENTY nine MONTHS???

I know there is no such thing as justice in America but still.

It all depends on your colour and your financial and/or celebrity status and therefore is NOT justice and is not blind.

Or as Supertramp puts it

You say it all depends on moneyAnd who is in your family treeRight, you're bloody well right

Anyway what stuns me as well is the assurance of the beguiled and we're talking some educated people here not your usual

NOT your average Dunning-Kruger Effect here.

O well it all saddens me also because I have been there and done that and maybe

luckily or fortunately or any other RNG misnomer you prefer

I am "out"  of "it" somehow.

I know many people however who are STILL fully inundated in it though.

People who had got a little out and swam right back in even.

FUCK! I swam right back in myself FFS at one point in time.

But when you see all these deluded disciples worshipping their very abuser it is sad whether he is named Jim Jones, or David Koresh, or Oshi, or Francis Cormier.

Anyway just a wave of feelings and emotions among other feelings and emotions at the moment.  Not sure I will finish this Wild Wild Country now as it hits pretty close to home and home is on shaking foundations these days.

Voila it is done off my chest and my mind for now

Enjoy all my non-readers.

P.S.  for those who don't know Wild Wild Country is about

Rajneesh / OSHI 

and

Ma Anand Sheela

P.P.S. a lot of this bullshit is purely hormonal and an escape for high rollers who couldnt take it. I read a similar story about a  high roller lawyer in Florida who "came to Christ" 

As Dennis Miller once said:

NO ONE COMES TO CHRIST ON PROM NIGHT!

A predator needs some preys and the preys usually have to be weak as ALSO SEEN on NETFLIX David Attenborough's Blue Planet

Another moving show about the fragility of life but that will have to wait for another time now

Triggers and Emotions

Out of bed early after like a 6 hour sleep night.

It's Sunday I think yeah
July 8th, 2018 at 08:36 AM currently, so my reliable computer says even though I trust my phone more for accurate time anyway.
Phone says 8h36 too.

Awake but not woke.

Welling up here and there depending what I read and what I listen to.

Was mostly feeling sorry for myself on Friday now or was it Saturday?

Anyway I tried to go to the Hub all by myself and that was an interesting experience.

Thomas Road? oh oh! I think I fucked up.

I got a $600 phone but a 6 penny brain.

Like Sue said I should have used the good ole paper map anyway.

But still 17 years here
 
SEVENTEEN YEARS

 and I can't go anywhere by myself except if I take the train and have been there before and then again.

Can't drive to Freo,
Can't drive to Perth, 
Never did.

I was trying to read something today

10 Self-Care Tips for People Who Dissociate

I certainly have huge problems of Dissociation for sure

Call it me being a

Space Cadet or

a Distracted Professor

let's face it

I am not always there

well I am there but

I am not there

I am obviously somewhere else.

So I suppose many of my memory problems are due to this rather than to early Alzheimer's but it is disturbing to be so unreliable and at times so useless.

And moreover why would I write all about me when it is a time for mourning for Priscilla.

Again it makes me feel like Camus' Stranger.

It's all intertwined I guess and I do expect a delayed bomb reaction sometime soon.

In the meanwhile I do my own therapy here on this unread blog trying to cope, survive, and mostly understand.

Hell I managed to get to Canada and survive a month on my own so I am not that desperate.

But that feeling of disorientation is haunting at times though.

Anyway Life goes on and

LIFE IS FOR THE LIVING

as she says whatever realm I live in.

So this is it for now as my body is crying for coffee and breakfast and waiting desperately for my granddad afternoon nap.

Ciao all my unreaders.

and Hello to my Polish friends whoever you are.

P.S. Like a strange animal
I seem to have a 5 km radius
and once I get out of there
it's a hostile jungle.

Alright now unto the next thing...

I was out shopping again today and as always 

the Grumpy Old Fucker,


the Sempiternal Curmudgeon

came out of his closet.

Then I started thinking and telling myself with Ani DiFranco's intonation in her song Grey:

IT'S ME IT'S MEEEEEEEE.

And of course it is me.

I was thinking that among the totally impossible things to dream of to just slightly raise the LCD would be just exactly that: totally impossible.

And I am not talking

Liquid Crystal Display here

but rather 

Lowest Common Denominator

Like a Canadian English pediatrist once told us in French

Ça donne rien de se frapper la tête contre un mur de brique.

It doesn't help to hit your head against the same brick wall repeatedly.

(Insert padded room mental asylum scene here)

The LCD as I call it will never change.
We are after all recent apes and all those dreams of a civilised world go out the window everytime you have more than 4 people together as Georges Brassens used to say:

A plus the quatre on est une bande de cons

More than four people and you have a bunch of cunts.

Speaking of, I was sorely reminded today of my frequent thought when I see someone posting something about "people" or "others"

because we ALL ARE people or others 

and here I was like a cunt standing in a narrow entrance blocking all traffic mindlessly breaking my favourite negative golden rule:

DO NOT DO UNTO OTHERS
WHAT YOU DON'T WANT THEM
TO DO UNTO YOU.

So yeah OK
maybe maybe
Zen and Patience
and those forgotten words
Kindness and Compassion
are a better formula here than spitting the dummy at the least contrariety.

MAYBE> 

One day MAYBE I will learn

Here It Goes Again...

Where to start today?
It's been 27 hours
since my youngest daughter died.

I keep thinking of Albert Camus first line of the Stranger:

Maman died today. Or yesterday maybe, I don’t know.

Aujourd’hui, maman est morte.

Ou peut-être hier, je ne sais pas.

J’ai reçu un télégramme de l’asile :

« Mère décédée.

Enterrement demain.

Sentiments distingués. »

Cela ne veut rien dire.

C’était peut-être hier.

Earlier today I thought it had been 48 hours and that we were Sunday.
Well my computer says
(and it's a reliable source)
that we are Saturday the 7th of July. 
It's all a bit confusing also with all them time zones especially when one dies at 22h00. 

So for her it was Thursday July 5th at 10:00 PM
and for me it was Friday July 6th at 10:00 AM

*Spoiler Alert*

I am also reminded a lot of the Stranger because his way of grieving was a bit his undoing somehow.  

* End of Spoiler Alert*

P.S. I should read the book again

I do turn into blubber occasionally but one can't just "blubber" all the time especially when one is driving for instance.

I keep repeating the best line ever that Priscilla left me during my May visit:

LIFE IS FOR THE LIVING

I was torturing myself with guilt last August over our holidays in Arles and Priscilla kept encouraging me and tell me to go on and send her tons of photos so she could live it vicariously.

Speaking of which I learned in May that a "old friend" of mine used this guilt viciously 

as the cult leader 

we used to have 

used to do.

Anyway there was no guilt here in May and in fact we thrived on that French song that says

Y'a pas d'coupables Y'a pas de honte.
There is no guilt and no shame

When one faces the inexorable grip of death like another prophet Farrokh Bulsara once said:

Anyone can see

NOTHING REALLY
MATTERS ANYMORE.

OK unlike my previous habit I will close this blog to move on to another subject now even though altogether it is the same subject, one big subject altogether.

And as to the "spiritual" things
I stand with Pratchett

Take the universe and grind it down to the finest powder and sieve it through the finest sieve and then show me one atom of justice, one molecule of mercy. and yet... and yet you act as if there is some ideal order in the world, as if there is some... some rightness in the universe by which it may be judged.

Terry Pratchett