Waiting for the end of the epilogue

 Dear Neglected Blog,

since most of the time I am only "talking" to "you".

A quadrillion things to say

A quadrillion things unsaid

A quadrillion things not worth saying

and not worth remembering.

It has been suggested lately that I had a really "interesting" life

(interesting is such an interesting word )

Well a fulfilled one and an adventurous one one might say.

Which reminds me of one of the many tests I passed in high school just before I dropped out.  This test was on interests and aptitudes in order for one to orient himself and discover himself I suppose... a work still in progress as U2 would say I still haven't found what I am looking for but it is interesting (here is that boring word again) that in 1969/1970 at the tender age of 14 I STILL remember that of all the interests I had ADVENTURE was the strongest one.

There was a chart with all sorts of interests and IIRC Maths and Science were fairly high maybe language also, the further to the right the star * was on this graph the more inclined you were and the star * for adventure was like kind of half  a star * because it was off the frame and almost off the page altogether on the far far right.

Well adventures I have had I might say thanks to many manic cycles in my sphere.

Some of them I described already here and here

It also has been suggested that I should write a biography

In reality the only biography we will ever have if is someone is patient enough to edit and organise my few biographical blogs.

While we were talking about writing anyone (if anyone ever has) who has read my blogs would know that I have an "interest" in writing a utopia/dystopia but the bar is mighty high on this one with giants such as Huxley and Orwell before me.

But again this will ending up biting me in the ass as they say reminding me of Kerouac's Eternal Words:

'My fault, my failure,

is not in the passions I have,

but in my lack of control of them. 

~ Jack Kerouac 

 

CONTROL as I have always said
along with Dr. Claire Lewicki
IS AN ILLUSION after all,
whatever they teach in the lessons on the Locus of control in psychology class: a concept just as old as me apparently.

let me repeat that 

                        CONTROL IS AN ILLUSION

Control is an illusion, you infantile egomaniac. Nobody knows what's gonna happen next: not on a freeway, not in an airplane, not inside our own bodies and certainly not on a racetrack with 40 other infantile egomaniacs.

 ~ Dr. Claire Lewicki

So here it is little energy I had is now spent.

Been playing my game mindlessly last couple of days and losing interest

(losing my mojo as I call it, a recurring happening like everything I do ... this too shall pass, some funny theory about the wind, the wind being this element that is not to be controlled)

and thinking 

I should go have a lie down and reconsider my life really LOL

or reconsider my epilogue anyway or as Sue sez my monologue

Over an out old tired curmudgeon waiting for the end of the epilogue.