LIFE & TIME

 LIFE & TIME & CREATIVITY.

Listening to Bernard Adamus last album and thinking 

ça laisse à désirer
it leaves something to be desired

but then again creativity is HARD I mean the man kind of took a break and got sober and good on him but creativity is hard for everybody

I mean all of them Alanis Morrissette, James Blunt, Ani DiFDranco, even the greatest most prolific of all: VAN the Man.

This is why I admire J.D. Salinger; said what he had to say and fucked off, disappeared from the planet instead of being bled to death by so many producers, publishers and other sharks of the business.

As I am listening to Adamus he is growing on me again lol

mind you his lyrics are just as good his music has changed a little, prolly a a much needed renewal in his entourage as you do when you sober up.

But yeah all of them, John Irving and Pink Floyd and all artists.

You can't bat 1,000 every fucking time.

There is just so much a brain can come up with the rest is sad milking and stretching and abusing.

Anyway CREATIVITY is almost an obsolete word these days even though I kind of abhor the word and its religious connotations and in ex nihilis business

I rather stand with LAVOISIER on the subject

Dans la nature rien ne se crée, rien ne se perd, tout change. In nature nothing is created, nothing is lost, everything changes.

I mean there are so many who called themselves creators these days and are a fucking joke

CONTENT CREATOR
INFLUENCER
LOSER

Anyway this blog like me is slowly dying it seems

many thoughts get lost in the oblivion cosmos,

Some of them had to do with TIME and LIFE 
LIFE being TEMPORARY

and TIME well basically non-existing AFAIAC when one is dead

Dates and anniversaries marked the passing on time

but TIME ITSELF keeps PASSING 

until it passes no more or it doesn't matter much when you're a pile of ashes

And LIFE well is LIFE for you for me for the ant for the elephant

until it is not life anymore but death

not order anymore but chaos

What I feel today What I see today What I hear today
What I write and think today 

Will all be gone tomorrow

This blog for a change is written directly on the blog site

all unedited as always of course
my usual flow of consciousness of lack of thereof

I am not a writer or an artist or a musician but the thing is that for anyone bipolar manic or not the tank has to die at one point the gas runs out.

INSPIRATION is such a funny word as it contains the word SPIRIT in it,

which is nothing as I said so many times then AIR, AIR, AIR, AIR, 

Hot Air, Cold Air but Air,

No Air = No Life

Something you say also when you meditate 
INSPIRE, EXPIRE
INSPIRE, EXPIRE

INSPIRE... EXPIRE

and then ONE LAST TIME

EXPIRE 

Goodbye Time! Goodbye Life!

14 years ago

Hello little blog! Long time no see.
I just missed your birthday. You turned 14 years old on Dec 12th, which is coincidentally also Sue's Birthday and Our Anniversary: we just 'celebrated' our 22nd and you were born on our 9th.

Anyway since no one ever reads you here it goes I just read somewhere it was good for mental health to write mindlessly.

What is it gonna be today? One thing is coming for sure it is the usual trigger that brings me here something about assholes blabbering that not doing nothing in front of injustices is participating in the evil and other bullshit and verbal diarrhoea when you get famous and are given a soap box and think you are the final authority in everything, names like Tutu and MLK come to mind.

But before I move on to that now more pondering about LIFE and DEATH now.

Obviously the fact that I am sitting here typing means I am still part of the living  rather than the other option and I just saw a funny video about a machine that tells you when you are going to die and what of. 

For one thing I wouldn't stick my finger in this machine myself as I don't wanna know. Apparently there ARE tests and questionnaires that give you quite an accurate answer but STILL I don't wanna know.

Just lost my sister this year and nearly lost my brother and still don't wanna know as the leaves on our trees keep falling.
Will I be singing with Tom Waits "I'm the Last Leaf on the Tree"?
Probably not but who knows?

Sure I could live better sure I could eat better exercise more bla bla bla do intermittent fasting and run a marathon but the big question is

AM I GOING TO NOW?  

I am strong believer in extrapolation and extrapolation says I won't change a fucking thing since I never did.

I am Pavlov's Dog tied to a post digging deeper circles at the end of my chain.

So far the RNG gods have allowed me to live longer than my father and that is all I know.
Where will the dash end?
We should find out soon enough 1955-20??

In the meanwhile now back to my trigger and that famous word INJUSTICE.

talk about a semantic minefield  a nuclear linguistic,
a word invented by our sick fuck minds.
Morality is man made

For one thing Mr. Self-Righteous
Where the fuck do we start? 
Which one?
Do you have any clue of how many trillions injustice there are in this world?
of course your pet one IS the one what was I thinking?

For another thing are you aware of the length that those who perpetrate these injustices will go to stop you interfering with them? Life is worthless to them and especially your life.

For another thing also who do you set your priorities?

I am always amazed at all these vegans animal lovers activists as 
my thinking goes to billions of children and women and men and poor people who are getting fucked every single day every single minute and you want to take care of animals first?
How about we get rid of the ANIMALS among us first and then we can move on to animals?

Anyway it is as far as I am concerned a lost cause 
pretty well what I mean  every time I have said
MONEY TALKS and BULLSHIT WALKS.

As to you Self Righteous activists whatever your name is 
AFAIAC again there is only one sin (as much as I hate that word too)

and the sin is Self Righteousness
Deluded fools who lift their noses on other human beings and dehumanise them rising themselves above the hoi polloi who think they are fucking ENLIGHTENED and even CHOSEN.

Minding my own business is not cowardice and just accepting reality stoically.
The age of martyrs and kamikazes is over,

It could be summed up in a couple of songs really as I always do.

Your Last Bold Move ~ Ani Di Franco and
Everybody Knows  ~ Leonard Cohen

So keep on living little blog for a little while until all your ONES and ZEROS get lost in cyberspace way way before this whole solar system explodes and dies out and all of our heroic deeds are completely forgotten and fall into OBLIVION with all the rest of us the hundreds of billions that lived and breathed on this planet not mentioning the other trillions of life forms that also passed by as important as us if not even more 

Over and Out for now

I'm telling you, lab rat to lab rat

 We are programmed from birth.

Programmed right from our defective DNA one step away from the ape.

Programmed by parents who were programmed themselves.

Some call it culture, some call it geographical situation,

Some call it socio-economical background.

We are programmed by schools and universities who themselves 

are programmed by governments, big money, and the powers that be.

Programmed by years of radio television and social media

Programmed by thousands of years of mythologies, fables, lies and religion.

The whole idea of free will is a lie itself promoted by snake oil salesman who are trying to tell you there is a good god out there, a just god, an all-knowing all powerful god that yet does fuck all to save its creation.  AND HE NEEDS MONEY! 

They NEED this imaginary power to shake their imaginary stick that gives them imaginary power otherwise they would just appear as the losers they are:
Nobodies with no power at all.

Trying to explain free will  by trying to explain a just god is an exercise in futility.

All we are is ignorant Pavlov's DOGS in a gigantic humongous cosmic lab we cannot even begin to comprehend.

We are ALL SLAVES to a Humongous RNG and that's all Life is all about:
A gigantic casino where the house always win.

Life is just a video game really not adhering to the multiple universes nonsense.

RNG ALL THE WAY,

RANDOM NUMBER GENERATION.

RNG on your birth

RNG on your geography.

RNG in every cell of yours.

RNG on every second of everyday.

Never wiser words were spoken but by a fictional character:

• Dr. Claire Lewicki: Control is an illusion, you infantile egomaniac.
  Nobody knows what's gonna happen next: 
• not on a freeway, 
• not in an airplane, 
• not inside our own bodies 
• and certainly not on a racetrack with 40 other infantile egomaniacs.
  
  If you've been bad, Lord I bet you have
  And you've not been hit by flying lead
  You'd better close your eyes 
  Bow your head
  Wait for the ricochet

truth, beauty, freedom, and... love

 But, but tell me, that ending does not uphold the Bohemian ideals of truth, beauty, freedom, and... love

Well I can tell you one thing for sure

Social Media or even plain Media does NOT

uphold the Bohemian ideals of truth, beauty, freedom, and... love

"The medium is the message" 

McLuhan proposes that a communication medium itself, not the messages it carries, should be the primary focus of study. He showed that artifacts such as media affect any society by their characteristics, or content.

Social Media is nothing close to Truth, Beauty, Freedom or Love.

It is a world of sickening sycophants, 

of blocking, ghosting, 

eliminating all forms of dissension 

all attempt to bring a narcissistic view to plain reality/truth. 

It is the absolute opposite of therapy in fact.

It is one little kingdom of grand delusion.

It is noticeable even more on group pages where one would not even have a handful of friends on his page but now has thousands of captured viewers for his little soapbox of sad loneliness.

I always get back to these short reels to attract new disciples for all the tiny gurus of this planet how have shite to sell.

This modern Areopagus is utterly sickening

(I better get my thesaurus out now but yeah Sartre's La nausée comes to mind here)

Back then all one had to suffer in a big city was some cunt with a megaphone who was luckily out of hearing after a few blocks.

Now they are everywhere: insipid and loud and numerous.

A strange strange society now, some sort of a reverse democracy where minorities have all the power and majorities are too scared shitless to do anything about it.

A handful of stand up comedians try to stand against it at their own peril of being "cancelled" themselves. 

A world of McCarthyism where one can have his life and revenue utterly ruined for one word one said many years ago before all this madness began

because madness is what this is:

some sort of mass psychosis 

and I won't live long enough to see the end of it but for fuck's sake it has to end one day 

one would like to dream that common sense will prevail one day instead of a mass hysteria of headless sheep.

Which pretty well answers the question I was asking myself on a subject I don't care much about but this vote coming in Australia about giving a minority again a bigger voice well I will have to say No to that even though I think this so called democracy is a huge delusion really.

It's kind of funny in a way because it lines me up with 2 people I can't stand LOL: Howard and Abbott.

O well I won't be distraught if it goes on either

we're back to Salomon and  Farrokh Bulsara aka Freddie Mercury here who wisely said:

Vanity of Vanities, All is  Vanity. 

(someone translated it as futility and another as spitting in the wind) and

Nothing really matters, anyone can see

Nothing really matters

Nothing really matters to me

And let's not forget the other great prophet now:

Don Henley

"Relax, " said the night man

"We are programmed to receive

You can check-out any time you like

But you can never leave!"

WE ARE ALL JUST PRISONERS HERE OF OUR OWN DEVICE.

see you here

Not sure what to think of this one really.

Prolly too early to think anyway,
not even finished my coffee yet BUT here we go...

The first word that came to mind here is

PROJECTION

the good ole Freudian Defence Mechanism.

Artists sometimes tend to be hubristic, 

self-centered, 

narrow minded 

and even narcissistic, 

thinking of an old blog here about Oscar Wilde

“Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation" - Oscar Wilde

One seems to forget when one writes about people is that one is people too

Here is another quotation now while I am at it, my trade mark:

Strangers passing in the street
By chance two separate glances meet
And I am you and what I see is me
And do I take you by the hand
And lead you through the land
And help me understand the best I can

I AM YOU AND WHAT I SEE IS ME

I know Bukowski has a cult following and cult following in my mind is to be avoided, it does not respond well to criticism or logic or rationalisation or reason even.

Don't get me wrong I like the guy I mean he is a lucky drunk who kind of made it but still HE could ALSO be called

A pompous blazing bastard fool poet,
a very soft small lump of humanity.

Just like so many of US

not THEM : US!

Here is Pink Floyd again! 

I must be manic again :)

 Back in the days I used to be really strong on what I call 

The Negative Golden Rule

DON'T do unto others what you DON'T want them to do unto you

as opposed to

DON'T do unto others what you DON'T want them to do unto you

As I am getting older I am starting to realise that 

what I don't like, what I don't want  means diddly squat,

it is certainly not the final authority,

the moral compass of all that is good and evil.

More than often it is one of my many idiosyncracies or kinks and mental quirks.

Some other golden rules:

Do unto others before they do unto you

or

Do unto others and then SPLIT!

Morality anyway is a bottomless pit of man made rules, dirtier than anything one could conceive,

I am also led to believe in my old age that first there is no free will and that there is only one SIN if I can use this abusive word loosely:

SELF-RIGHTEOUSNESS

There is nothing uglier
than a holier-than-thou
sour puss controlling freak.

The rest is human nature and highly forgivable, certainly not cause to throw the first stone and to highly remember where we come from, what we are, that we all have the beast, the shadow, the dark side within us and that a certain set of circumstances could certainly make this beast  come out.

Many of these aberrations are totally parent produced and the ones to be punished should often be the parents and not the poor victims of atrocious RNG.

I like to think of life as a video game as so much of it seems to be left to one thing and one thing only: RNG

Random Number Generation.

Or Luck, or Fortune or Fate as some prefer to call it so it makes them feel better,

Some RNG's are just plain horrible and some children had no chance at all to get out of the lot they were sadly given.

So here we go again just a little more of my same old same old own RNG.

Prolly nothing I haven't said before but sometimes it is good to rearrange our thoughts to see if they are still the same or have changed.

As for the golden rule I will stay in my corner and try to mind my own business and try to avoid shame and condemnation because in the end
none of this shit matters
and the Great Equaliser will get us all
and we in turn will also be shit/manure/ ashes whatever:

 a small black dot in the ocean of oblivion and nothingness.

Speaking of I often think something silly that there will be great peace in dying as it means

no more shitting and pissing, :)

activities out of my control and terrible time wasters anyway
if you ask me LOL

so dying will be in fact OUR LAST DUMP
where all of us will turn into shit
into an eternal bowel movement,

Voila for my classy enlightenment!

You are all welcome! :) 

Here we go again! VALAR MORGHULIS!!!

 

I hate losing sleep.

And most of the time I lose sleep over the silliest thing.

Last night was me worrying over a little fight I had on the Montreal site. 

One of my main annoyances last 2 days has been the death of Tina Turner. Not the fact that she is dead she was 80 something FFS more than fair game for the Grim Reaper.

No but the fact I have to read about it a gazillion times some sites posting it many many times every member thinking he or she is bringing something new.

The Montreal admin let this one flow by even he himself posted recently.

Anyway I would have to post the convo but I have now deleted it LOL I have blocked the asshole who was an absolute 

SYCOPHANT, ASSHOLE, BROWN NOSER, SUCKHOLE  :)

 as we say in English and as we say in good Quebec French

    UN ESTIE DE TÉTEUX!

He rubbed it in over and over again that he was getting away with  it

and was an ABSOLUTE ABJECT SYCOPHANT.

And it made me a little sick to my stomach and I wanted to use a few of these epithets on the site but we all know where that would have led now.

I am already in trouble with Facebook AGAIN for something they took completely out of context.  AI has no heart of mind or comprehension or maybe it was just a complete snowflake reporting me.

Story is there was a funny board on a chess site where there was an opportunity to do an en passant move which is a meme by itself in chess as it is always tempting to show that we KNOW the EN PASSANT move. Problem is that in this position doing en passant would have cost the game. SO I said joking:
En Passant by suicide!

AND HELL BROKE LOOSE.

I mentioned the 'S' word  and the world stopped.

I should have said
En Passant by seppuku or even
En Passant by Sudoku and it might have flied~!

So I got reprimanded restricted and what not because AI does not understand CONTEXT, it doesn't know the diff between the spirit of the law and the letter of the law.

I noticed the 'S' word gets blocked a lot recently like THAT is gonna help.

Anyway back to my original subject I am here sitting some other celebrity can die soon so we can MOVE THE FUCK ON,

I used to do this shit mind you and I prolly still do but I am trying to refrain from it. Thing is 2 REAL PERSONS DIE every FUCKING SECOND and I will be one of those soon but no one gives a shit.

I mean no one has prolly listened to Tina Turner in years now (I know I haven't) but now that she is dead and was long forgotten let's all go hysterical about it.

Aldous Huxley had the misfortune of dying on November 22nd, 1963 and THAT didn't make the news obviously. He was relegated to a nobody because someone "BIGGER" than him died on the same day.

Anyway not sure what it is altogether the trip coming or what not the circle of life? the cycles of life? but I was feeling my mental health was slipping down a little? The fact I don 't have a therapist for the past few weeks? WHO KNOWS? Certainly not me,

Time is relative here in Australia but even this afternoon many many hours after the fact someone posted that TT died! 

I wanted to post

IS THERE ANYONE IN THE WORLD THAT DOESN'T KNOW THAT TINA TURNER DIED YET FFS?

PLEASE HURRY UP NEXT CELEBRITY.

Again it's prolly only me again being a cantankerous mental sick fuck.

It's all well known that Social Media is NOT GOOD for mental health!~ :P 

Hurry up June 2nd so I can get lost in Diablo IV again.

It's a much better world! ;) 

VOILA! END OF RANT!  FOR NOW!