Thursday, August 18, 2011

I hope my pony knows the way back home

That song really appeals to me in some ways.
I do feel like
I've seen it all boys, I've been all over
Been everywhere in the whole wide world

Even though I have never been anywhere near

Natchez OR Hushpukena OR Belzoni OR Talullah.

Nor have I been anywhere near all the boondocks that Jack Kerouac has been near to either but I have been many times in my own boondocks and many of them.

18 years old or so I slept downtown Montreal in an abandoned house above a chicken slaughterhouse, on cheap mattresses on the floor in a house with syringes in the holes of the walls and surrounded by what we called "water freaks", the ultimate addict who would used your old cigarette foil filled with crystal meth rinse it with water and crank himself with a very diluted form of his addiction. Got my jaw broken on my way there in fact, being at the wrong place at the wrong time and mistaken for a "bloke" what we called the English back then, by the time these guys realized we were NOT the "blokes" who had beaten up their mates, I had a broken jaw and my friend had cracked ribs.

16 to 18 hitch hiked many times the 200 miles to Quebec City for a Bluto or Wimpy Burger at Popeye's on St-Jean way before MacDonald's hit the country.  

Sometimes slept in the cemetery under a tree at the base of a 17th century tombstone with F's instead of S's. Have to confess I only slept there in daytime now LOL as I was too chicken to try it at night. ☺

Also went to see a friend that was not there in Quebec City and ended up sleeping in a jail cell only for the asking! ☺ I asked them they locked me in a tiny cell with a stainless steel toilet at 3AM and kicked me out at 7 AM.  So I DID spend a night in jail ONCE if anybody asks. That should be a good one in these 2 truths and one lie games.

In one of my many hitch hiking to Gaspe, I slept in the middle of a gravel road with my jean jacket as a pillow behind one of those construction bar, a plank on two "chevalets".  Told the young man with the detour sign there to make damn sure they DID make that detour, otherwise they would have run over me.   

Also rid in the back of a motorcycle holding to dear life to a stranger watching the road go scaringly fast under you, that was a very long 20 miles.  

 Hopped in a big rig on a gravel road,( there was always, probably still is, construction in the Matapedia Valley) and heard a big bang right next to my head.  Another rig was passing us by really fast and a pebble went through the windshield and hit the back of the cab and left a big dent there, an inch or two to the left and  I would have been the proverbial Goliath stone dead.

20 yrs old, I was 700 miles east away from home, had hitch hiked all that way to see a distant friend who happened to be gone 700 miles NORTH away from home, not knowing his parents well enough I had to hitch-hike my way back home in the cold and dark and wet middle of nowhere. Was wearing one of those red plaid flannel hunting shirt that got really wet and cold and heavy and soaked through and cried to God in the middle of the dark wet night "a thousand miles from nowhere". Was really happy and comforted for a short moment when a Good Samaritan FINALLY picked me up, only to realize the only reason why he didn't leave me on the side of the road like the other sober assholes was because he was shitfaced and could hardly drive, forget about talking, and every time an incoming car passed us by at 100 miles an hour and he barely got back on HIS side of the road I saw the film of my life and was ready to grab the steering wheel and pull us back in.   I was just too happy to go back in the cold rain but ALIVE shortly after has he stopped at the next hotel for a refill as if he needed one.

Got another short ride in the back of a provincial police car with no handles on the doors.  Stopped at New Carlisle Prison and asked for shelter but this time I was turned down and sent back in the rain.

1978 I spent my "2nd" honeymoon hitch hiking around Gaspe, about 1400 miles I'd say. All went well til Percé but then here came the rain again, falling on my head like an old emotion.
Add to this a dubious can of herring on a wet campfire and a diarrhoea from hell before the days of Imodium.  Just what to want really in life to be stuck in the middle of nowhere wet and cold WITH THE RUNS.  Past the tip of the Peninsula, drinking KaoPectate by the bottle,  on the north side, a nice Chrysler Imperial with WHITE LEATHER seats stopped to pick us up. Luckily my prayers were answered and this man stopped at every rest stop on the road and never knew how close his leather seats came to change colour permanently. ☺


San Francisco- Vancouver - Montreal and San Francisco Milk Run to Montreal, 

stopping at every town on the way, waking you up just in time for a Marlboro break.   

One should never ever take a bed for granted after that.

Making it to SF alone was quite an interesting ordeal too.  Started with $400 in Montreal, blew over $200 in Ottawa on booze and errrr stuff, hitch hiked to Winnipeg, well basically crossed Ontario AGAIN.  1500 miles wide and prolly 1000 miles from nowhere at many points.  Ended up in the middle of absolutely nowhere in the middle of the nights eaten by the ferocious flies, remembered a RCMP station I had seen on my way there a mile back, walked back just to realize the station was closed but luckily they had a huge open inside hall highly illuminated with fluorescent but NO FLIES and ALSO a nice leather 3 seaters with none of these annoying arm rests that would either break your back or make it really hard to wiggle yourself out of there in the morning.  Spent the best night with my jean jacket OVER my head this time to cover them bloody lights.  Was refreshed enough in the morning to accept a long detour ride that required some shared driving and lucky enough also to get out of deep lumber desert on a lumber rig and closer back to civilisation AND Main Road.

Missed the ferry in Vancouver to Victoria, slept in a hostel downtown Vancouver, probably one of the scariest nights of my life, blocked the thin door with my dresser.  Met one of my travelling mates the morning after battered and bruised after having been mugged.

So many adventures, so little time and brain power. One of my last one was to Venture 20,000 miles away from home and that was a good one. ☺☻♥

Had nice travelling boots that I FORGOT to take off on a 36 hours flight, by the time I got to Kuala Lumpur at 40 hot and humid degrees at 3 AM and my first time ever entering a shuttle bus on the LEFT side, well a dead cheese factory would have been a more pleasant olfactory experience or my visit to this water processing plant in fact was better. ☺

Apparently after that 48 hours experience her first impression was more like meeting a zombie. ☺

So after 3 trips back to Canada, Paris and England I packed enough air miles to fly to the moon and back.

So Jack Kerouac let me show YOU how it's done! :)

OFF the Road now.

Stinky boots are retired.

Guess I've got that old trav'lin' bone, 'cause this feelin' won't leave me alone. ~ CCR

Guess that old trav'lin bone has finally left me alone

Some might notice some discrepancies between these two gospels LOL

Who Is Your Pony?

Who Is Your Pony?

Who "controls" your auto-pilot?
Some Angel?
Both of 'em?
Some Delusion of your own?
Some Lizard - Looking Alien?
Is there REALLY a Pony "Out There"?
That song really appeals to me in some ways.
I do feel like
I've seen it all boys, I've been all over
Been everywhere in the whole wide world

Even though I have never been anywhere near

Natchez OR Hushpukena OR Belzoni OR Talullah.

Monday, August 15, 2011

He who knoweth the hearts and the minds

 When I was a child
I caught a fleeting glimpse
Out of the corner of my eye
I turned to look but it was gone
I cannot put my finger on it now
The child is grown,
The dream is gone.

When you're a child, 

(well at least when you're a child like me ) ☺

you have your own bathysphere.

Now I have nanosecond glimpses but they quickly fade away

Psa 73:20  As a dream when one awaketh; so, O Lord, when thou awakest, thou shalt despise their image.

I wish I could KEEP some of dem images tho.

A vision of the "depths", a mini understanding or at least a mini thirst

Mat 5:6  Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.

Some thirst and hunger for righteousness in others but also in me.
A thirst for compassion and mercy and tolerance I have lost somewhere or maybe I never had to begin with, just a vague idea that it is a good thing to long for if it wasn't for this old narcissistic superiority I was almost born with.

But yet, still, a thirst for something better for a better world , an ultimate MUSTURBATION and SHOULDURBATION as well.

What the world should be, definitely not what the world will ever be, 

that Kaotic Kosmos we call the World.

But Roger Waters was right I am afraid. 

No one can tell Heaven from Hell.

We've probably lost, nope we never had it in fact, that right, that privilege when we decided to "taste" of the fruit of the "knowledge" of good and evil.  

See at one point it was just fine and dandy to be stark naked 

but now everything is muddled and always will be.  

Yeah some things seem right, don't kill, don't steal, some would say don't lie but 

NO, nothing is clear in mudded waters. 

Not abortion, not lies and not even murder at times.  

Once the Perfection standard has fallen it is a free for all game since it's all interrelated.  

One cannot choose Good in an Evil World, one can only choose what one considers a lesser evil considering the choices given now.  

Ok! Ok! Keep on your delusions that the world is good if you like it that way 

but lock your doors at night still 

and meditate on the goodness of endless wars.

So all one can do now is dream and try to imagine what it would be like.  Some try to imagine what it WILL be like and call it religion.

For the kingdom of God is not meat and drink;

So much for vegans when God HIMSELF smiled on Abel's KILLING and frowned on Cain's Carrots.

Apparently it gets more complicated than the Do's and Don'ts

for whatsoever is not of faith is sin.

And THAT is fucking scary. 

For one thing we've all seen and heard what FAITH can do.

She is a VERY scary, whimsical, & chaotic Lady.

And Also Because White AND Black can be all bad.

Eat the meat? You're fucked. 

Don't eat the meat? You're STILL fucked.

What's that? 

Catch 22?

So it all comes down apparently to 

what YOU think of the master I s'pose.

he is a Cool Dude and 
we'll get along just fine no matter what cuz after all 


Lord, I knew thee that thou art an hard man, reaping where thou hast not sown, and gathering where thou hast not strawed:
Mat 25:25  And I was afraid, and went and hid thy talent in the earth: lo, there thou hast that is thine.
Mat 25:26  His lord answered and said unto him, Thou wicked and slothful servant,

For unto every one that hath shall be given, and he shall have abundance: but from him that hath not shall be taken away even that which he hath.

So anyway on my awakening search for a better world, a better word, here is some of my misty fog lifting meanderings.  Next time I'll try to type faster and earlier. :)

Just a few more Socratic Questions to keep us thinking I guess 

in a world of non-transparency and of no lack of concealments (aletheia) one wonders

How many?

How many soweth discord for mere profit$?  Kalashnikovs and Cie

How many millions KKK in the closet?

(One has to ask oneself ... How many MILLION Americans are foaming at the mouth inwardly just because the President is Black but outwardly try to look PC and undermine and backstab everything he does. If it was hard to get any truth in politics before it is even harder now, for after all  The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?

Now I am now quite so sure about the next verse though

Jer 17:10  I the LORD search the heart, I try the reins, even to give every man according to his ways, and according to the fruit of his doings.

How many Countless Casanovas and Don Juans and Warren Beattys  out there?
(leaving bleeding victims in the ditch, saying anything at all just to get laid)

Imagine a telepathic world where one could read everyone's thoughts.  

Kaos and Catalyzed Mayhem ! :) 

Your heart knows all the answers, it is just a matter of passing the message on to your brain. Overthinking, the downfall of man. ~Tanya Gabriella Astley,

Rom 8:27  And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God.

"I maintain that, if everyone knew what others said about him, there would not be four friends in the world." -  Blaise Pascal

"I made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it short."-  Blaise Pascal

"Fiction is the truth inside the lie." - Stephen King

"The last thing one discovers in composing a work is what to put first." -  Blaise Pascal

"I wake each morning torn between the desire to improve the world and the desire to enjoy it. It makes it hard to plan the day." -  E.B. White

"Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half the time." -  E.B. White

Monday, August 8, 2011

Am I my brother's keeper?

Old tired ranting

Well most of my "bros" don't seem to give much of a flying fuck about anything so why should I eh?

I am just coming back obviously from a walk in a shopping centre also known as dodge the zombies.  Why should "I" be the one doing all the awareness and alertness thing? Why can't we SHARE that BURDEN?  

Anyway I could go on forever but just a few thoughts about that History Channel show I watched on Cain and Abel.   Some brought some interesting points and they seem to have forgotten the most interesting point altogether to me.

One mention that "God" was "soft" on Cain because He, God Himself, was the source of all the troubles to begin with for playing favourite

Ha! Ha! Interestingly  Outrageous, almost Blasphemous to some .   

Apparently God did not believe in capital punishment either way back then.

My point is that the first act of "SACRIFICE" alone was the trouble to begin with. 

No sacrifice, no waste of goods and everyone is happy happy joy joy.  

We can barter, eat, and drink, and be merry. 

Sacrifice and difference of opinions on the way to sacrifice have always been nothing but the road to contention and wars and blood and murder.   

So let's eliminate sacrifice to begin with.

Voila! Think on that for a few. Meditate my son, my brother! :) 

In the meanwhile I'll go check the mirror for any mark on my forehead somewhere.