Like Tears in Rain

 

I see Arsene Lupin and childhood memories flood to mind.

Of course the name was know all over the French world including French Canada.

Now I may or I may not have read some or all,
I cannot remember.

I do remember visiting the local library often and coming back with the maximum amount of books allowed.

This is probably how I read all the Tintin available and all the Bob Morane moving on after to Doc Savage.  

This is probably also where I read at a very young age 

La vingtcinquieme heure de Georghiu et 

Le Livre des Secrets Trahis de Charroux

There was probably a time where I read all my allowed books and brought them back for more way before my allotted time
and there was ALSO a time where
"my eyes were bigger than my stomach"
and I took 10 out and
brought 10 back unread and probably late.

Anyway on this subject of memory now I do remember the scent of the library in Ahuntsic, where I lived for like a whole 4 years, an eternity considering we moved every year and in year 6  we moved twice and I went to 3 different schools.

I also remember the smell  in my best friend's basement. 

These 2 places were for me refuges and havens.

But the memories seems to fade deeper and deeper everyday now.

On the last day it won't matter at all because all memories fade after we are but dust in the wind but in the dusk of life here I just wonder how far will this memory loss go?

I know we are supposed to Carpe the Diem and all that Jazz and live in the moment and be present but what bugs me is that at times I don't seem to have many other choices even this living in the moment escapes me in some sort of dissociative daydream.

There are important events that are completely erased from my memory and some event I am not even aware ever happened.

I seem to be left with feelings rather than facts.

Brain MRI is normal and geriatrician is puzzled and still enquiring but there may not ever be an answer to all this.

Reading has almost become unthinkable and even watching an hour show is problematic as I lose the plot after more than 3 characters.  Playing chess also is challenging and other interests are fleeting.  I am reduced to make silly jigsaw puzzles on the computer and try to pick some under 100 pieces.

Like Charlie Gordon I used to be an tellijent I think no I know I remember acing calculus in my forties not a small feat.

I could hold my end at chess and bridge and always boasted of my 120 IQ (112 in another test but who wants to hear that?? )

Not sure where it all went wrong either or when.

I am certain many 65 year old are much sharper than I am.

Nothing to worry too much as I said after all like the Rolling Stones said:

It is the evening of the day

If I could keep two thoughts together I could  even write a decent blog now :)

I have done a million crazy things. I have been carried by wild winds of madness but all this seems to be a distant past now watched by a stranger.

Reminds me of a few poems by Nelligan at times.

Je fus de ces heureux d'alors, mais aujourd'hui,

Les pieds sur les chenets, le front terne d'ennui,

Moi qui me sens toujours l'amertume dans l'âme,

J'aperçois défiler, dans un album de flamme,

Ma jeunesse qui va, comme un soldat passant,

Au champ noir de la vie, arme au poing, toute en sang !

I was one of those lucky people then, but today,

Feet on andirons, brow dull with boredom,

I who always feel bitterness in my soul,

I see scrolling, in an album of flame,

My youth going, like a passing soldier,

In the black field of life, gun in hand, all in blood!

When I hear all these singers talking about 500 miles or 1000 miles from nowhere I think:  AMATEURS.

I have enough mileage in me to make it to the moon for sure

Unfortunately not enough to make it back though.

But all these memories will be all gone soon

Like... Tears in the Rain.

It's raining now

Speaking of dissociative daydream 

SHINE ON YOU CRAZY DIAMOND 

is playing now so I will go and cease that moment 

Daphne RAPED Simon

 

I watched many bloggers and youtubers and watch how they struggle to stay current and all that, like this Dr Grande trying really hard to stay current and stick his nose in everything and desperately seeking relevance and clicks.

So as a rule I try errr no I don't even try I DO stay away from all the ephemerous glory of a post.

I see a lot of chess players commenting on The Queen's Gambit because that is a guaranteed click these days (but for how long)

And YET HERE I AM lol doing the very same thing now as I was forming my own opinion on the latest popular NETFLIX's Bridgerton.

My "conclusion" and it may seem absurd to many is that

DAPHNE RAPED SIMON!!!

The boundaries and parameters were clearly well established by him and accepted.

It is not HIS fault that she was ignorant about the simple facts of life and the birds and the bees.

So No means No
and CONSENT was certainly not given.

In fact reverse the roles and everyone would cry rape.

The whole story is a bit cliche by now :
Jane Austen, Vanity Fair, Fairy Tales,
 and what not about the rich and their schemes and utter HYPOCRISY.

Anyway there it is for what it is worth.
Daphne was a spoiled brat.
Simon was noble.
Eloise was absolutely SUPERB
and way ahead of her time.

The queen was boring and petty
and Penelope well annoying and whiny as expected
and as for her being the SPOILERS ALERT mysterious one
well it is just another gigantic plot hole in the story.

Might rewatch the Queen's Gambit one day
but Bridgerton is on my list of show to quickly forget.

Voila I had more to say but this will suffice.

OK OK while I am here I thought the casting of Daphne must have been a huge act of nepotism if not a Weinstein promotion move. 
The character description is hugely inconsistent, the pouting the hysteria which made the last lines which were good lines seem to be just read with too much demand on the suspense of disbelief

At least it was not another rehash of WW 2 but yeah Jane Austen has been done to death let's move on

first little story of the year

there are many words in many languages that do not translate into one word in an another language

jig: appareil de montage
and I forget most of the others 

the word I am thinking of now is FRILEUX translated as sensitive to cold

well as a rule I am quite FRILEUX cranking up the heat in winter and always freezing.

Taking hot showers and what not but not this time.

With 40 degrees plus outside I realise I don't even have to turn the hot water on in the shower.

Only cold is good enough and not even too cold for this sensitive soul here LOL

It reminds me of when I stopped a Kuala Lumpur on my way here paid hotel by the airline 

Got there late only had a few hours to refresh and they turned the hot water on as I walked in

but I realised I didn't need it at all as the cold water was almost boiling...

got there at like 3AM. hopped on the shuttle  with entrance door on the left for the first time in my life

realised I had forgotten to take off my boots on a 30+ hours flight 

never slept that night as I was too nervous to miss my flight

anyway enough on funny things lost in translation