Wednesday, November 30, 2016


I can't keep track of each fallen robin
~ Leonard Cohen

89,845 deaths today ALONE at the beginning of this article 1308 hours 30/11/2016
Nearly 55 million this year 54,936.8K

Who are we to classify them now? They are all someone’s relative.  Can we suffer for all of them equally or some of them are not “worth” our suffering?: We’re not even talking about the sick and the suffering now or fuck forbid beloved pets.

Of course a close one should make us suffer but with the extension of social media it seems to be a very fertile ground for a woman’s mothering heart.  Maybe it’s because I am JUST a man and a peculiar one at that. 

I found out years ago on chat sites and social media that I could not afford to have a Christ complex and to try to save the whole fucking world.  Not only is it too exhausting it is also too Sisyphean and at times totally useless moot and pointless.

This suicidal “friend” you “saved” yesterday will repeat the same song and dance tomorrow with another ‘friend” and waste his time too.  Some people just love being the victim like I have seen some kids run after the bullies craving to get beaten up as if it was a form of pleasure to them.
I must have carried this “detachment” a little too far after all psychos too are very detached. Yet the most horrible death of 2016 for me was Twitch, getting tight throat and teary eyed just thinking about him now.  In my cold hearted mind anyone above 70 is fair game for the Grim Reaper and the rest well accidents happen like Leonard Cohen said I can’t keep track of each fallen robin.

91575 is the count now 1323h. Nearly 2000 in 15 mins only.

We will hit the 55 million mark by the time I am finished.

So what am I trying to say, to understand?

We all go eventually and when I am gone well none of this will matter now will it? So am I trying to be dead inside before I get to be dead outside too?

We’re all here for a short time and a lot of religious leaders have banked on suffering as inevitable, inexorable blah blah blah and tried to find a way out, a panacea or a cashing cow for most.
It would seem according to some that suffering is in the mind (well it IS in the brain anyway) and that if you don’t mind it doesn’t hurt, mind over matter and what not and the only way to be placid is to be either catatonic, dead, or in a coma.

So which fallen robin should upset my heart now? Well there aren’t too many but the ones that do and will …well just shatter me to pieces.

I can only think of one person right now that will destroy me when she goes,

The rest of them well mostly they can come and go. Of course I will be somewhat sad at certain... thinking of it now no one I haven’t met at least once.  I might feel something for an artist loss but very few the only one coming to mind now is Tom Waits. 

2016 despite the media rehashing wasn’t probably much worse than the rest of them.

Life is like a good bowel movement or like the cop said in godfather:

When you gotta go, you gotta go.

Sometimes I wish those will be my famous last words.

When you gotta go, you gotta go.”

Nothing like good scatological humour before your last eschatological breath.

Mozart would have approved.

Better than my other favourite line:

His famous last words: “Trust me I know what I am doing”

So for the rest of youse I could sing along with KC and the sunshine band,
“Please Don’t Go” until I am blue in the face like the Widowmaker lol
(A new Overwatch reference my possible next addiction)
But that won’t help any we all have to face the Great Equaliser one day.

Just like Leonard Cohen too I only wish their “preliminaries” won’t be too long and horrendous. He certainly got his wish dying the millionaire’s death in his sleep.

In the meanwhile I might try to find a balance between numbness and awareness.

Ciao for now. Live Long and Prosper.

P.S.  54,941,150Deaths this year
94,395Deaths today
 1348 hours
I am not waiting around for round numbers.

Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Loyalty, propaganda, and macédoine~!

Loyalty, propaganda, and macédoine~! (aka syncretism)

I thought it was a sad day when a dog makes it to Wikipedia and your name is not there lol but then again Wikipedia along with celebrity and Twitter and such is way overrated. 

It is NOT a sign or a gauge of achievement or success to make it to Wiki’s roll of honour.

I don’t recall ever hearing of Hachiko but surfing 9GAG one learns things. J

A bit like discovering an old song by listening to some Voice, X Factor, National Idol, My nation’s got talent etc etc. since
I almost never listen to the radio and when I do it’s oldies (6IX)
and I know most of them.

And now we are back at Hachiko and how the poor dog was used more than likely to even promote Kamikaze as a sign of fucking loyalty.

For those of you who have never read my blog I hate loyalty and its association with anything moral. 

Just search Jonathan Haidt to find out.

Which will lead you to this

And then this too where I say

Loyalty to me is to principles not people.

Which now brings me to the mishmash of syncretism.

I thought for a minute that mishmash was such nice word until I read this: a confused mixture. "a mishmash of outmoded ideas"

informal scissors-and-paste job, mash-up

Now as a French speaking native I should really prefer macédoine but that is just a little too veggie for me now.
There are a few nice choices though here I should study and use later.

Speaking of French, back to my onions now.

Technically every single one of us is syncretic.

It is said that

“Such adherents sometimes see syncretism as a betrayal of their pure truth.”
Well their “pure truth” is a syncretism of personal exegesis, hermeneutics, interpretation and everyone has a different shade than his neighbour’s.

We also all have a different eschatology for sure but the common point is that we all have an σχατος, an END TIME.

Funnily enough apparently there is an etymological relation to enkata, intestines and the end of intestines is an asshole so we start as an asshole (as deuterostomes) and we end as an asshole.

Possibly for Proto-Indo-European *eǵʰs-katos, from ἐξ ‎(ex, out). Compare with ἔγκατα ‎(énkata, intestines)

There is a human point though where a so-called syncretic is viewed as an asshole, a bastard, a traitor, a mulato, metis,  mixed race, the Eurasians of the world.

I came to the word syncretic reading about some name I had never heard before would you believe? 

A well-known omnium gatherum of beliefs, a salmagundi, and a macédoine so you can have your proteins AND your veggies J

none other than Zlatan Ibrahimović himself. One of Sweden’s famous people apparently according to 9GAG again and to me the name did not sound very Swedish so I HAD to Google it.

The word syncretic immediately reminded me of Alan Watts and all the wannabe gurus out there who try to stick out appear original and sell their shtick.

It would seem though that all that bullshit tattooing business doesn’t stop Zlatan to be considered a dirty and arrogant player~ Go Figure!~ (or Watts from being a drunk)

I am not a fan of submission myself but it seems to me that when you cannot submit to the demands of one belief you just become an unhinged rebel.  

Now one could ponder I suppose what would be the demands of atheism on one’s soul but then again there are many many atheist assholes as well.

So here are my gathered and scattered worthless thoughts again.  

There is always a pattern and some trigger words like loyalty and religion etc.

Opine away all my non-readers!~

Friday, October 14, 2016

Sophie’s choice in Sophie’s world.

All the Allan Watts, the George Gurdjieffs, the Doukhobors, the Steven Grays. 
(who prefers to call himself Adyashanti as it sounds more like the phony bullshitter that he is),
the wannabes, the ‘think-they-are’, the has-been, the so-called philosophers… inflated egos trying to decipher and be better than their peers, the smooth talkers and smooth thinkers of this world trying to make a phony humble mark by mishmashing a whole bunch of old things together and call them their own and then become roshis and masters of low life followers who could not see the light by themselves. 

Funny coincidence is that a lot of these charlatans ended up on Oprah’s show: Obviously the wisest of them all if not the richest.

All the chosen people shunning anyone that dares to slip from their fake and phony power.

Shunning is such an simian blackmailing form.  

Cultures and Cults use it effectively sadly enough.  

When shunning should be seen as a victory and freedom from chains it is perceived unfortunately as a negative punishment as if one had done something wrong when it is often the contrary.

And then you get the blind followers as good cult members who say “Oh but you don’t understand, it’s too “deep” for you low-life unenlightened one.”

The “me-so-deep”, “me-so-smalt” types.

The ones who “UNDERSTAND” a master, a guru, an artist, a film maker etc. and look down at you the uninitiated dark ones.

The good old gnosis of eons and ages strikes again.

Bottom line is usually same as ever more power more money and more sex more or less hidden.

Truth has fuck all to do with it all.

Greeks of old and their favourite sport of otiose banter, their vain babbling their kenophonia: empty sounds.

It’s more than exhausting it’s higher than the Everest that has killed many to try to decipher anything good in this mountain, correction this UY Scuti of shit.  

Ok I admit it would be impossible to have a pile of shit bigger than Earth on Earth itself but then again the pile is higher than one can conceive or count.

Huxley was right all along.  Don’t try to cover the truth just flood it in a pile of shit.

Six or seven thousand years of mindless written banter and we are not close to anything remotely wise and true.

Not sure why I keep trying now.  Maybe I like to pretend to be transcendental like all the other bullshitters out there. To seek higher to practice the good ole seek and ye shall find blah blah blah. The fact I was given a brain that is capable of dreaming of such an unattainable nirvana.

Well if you look at all my followers you know for sure I am not getting more power or money or sex for sure~! LMAO

Sophia and Sapiens: Wisdom has become meaningless on this pale blue dot.

Truth also, and the knowledge of good and evil, and absolute morality seem to all be some sort of simian creation we amuse ourselves with.

The best future one could imagine is a moot point altogether as there would be 7 billion answers to this and 7 billion “wrong” answers.

All this collective wisdom bullshit leading to nothingness and darkness.

Watts is seen as an unusually gifted speaker and writer driven by his own interests, enthusiasms, and demons.

It is interesting the Spike Jonze / Adam Spiegel has managed to turn a rebellious alcoholic into a wise smart enlightened and very seductive Operating System to fool the likes of Scarlett Johansson. 

Interesting also is the fact that Brian Cox chose to associate himself with such a whack job.

And poor Joaquin who could not understand how one could talk to eight thousand, three hundred sixteen people at the same time and be “in love” with six hundred forty-one in the same nanosecond. 
OS Watts being just one of them inflated bullshitter and specialist at intellectual/spiritual masturbation.

It was a bit too much for him same as it was too much for Dr. Crusher to deal with a constant shape shifting symbiotic parasite.  

We humans are so limited.

Anyhow here it is all for now! Think and Opine away! 


Money is a powerful aphrodisiac. But flowers work almost as well. ~ Robert Heinlein

My 2 bits on a subject I try to stay away from GTBTP

Not excusing the man in any way, shape or form, he is a Neanderthal and any ‘sexist’ conversation is danger ground today but no one mentions the other side of the coin.

The side that states that money and power is a powerful aphrodisiac, 

the fact that millions of females chase men like Trump and even worse, 

the fact that justice is so warped and corrupted that he will get away with many unspeakable acts when and IF he is brought to justice 
as thousands of women will look at this as a necessary step to climbing the gold ladder and laugh and giggle about it in their locker room or fancy hotel powder room.

When we think of bribery we think of China or Russia or some third world countries but we forget all the Alan Dershowitzs of the world. 

The men that free guilty assholes for enough cash.

Sure women have to rally against all bullies. 

hell men ought to rally against all bullies 

but as long as a great percentage of gold digging bimbos and bunnies will undermine them, their work won’t be easier, a sort of divide and conquer from the male species where money buys everything as IF everything was for sale.  Groupies could also be included in that group while we’re at it.

So yes sure condemn the man by all means but do not forget how and why he got this way: because he can and they let him, 
not all of them but way too many of them.

We think of prostitutes working the street as low lives and we should think again but as Amy Winehouse once said we should always watch out for the “Fuck me Pumps” skanks that run around rich circles and perpetually encourage this insane behaviour.

The very fact that this sentence exists is and is accepted is an outrage:

 Money is a powerful aphrodisiac.

Let's end with this cute old story now:|

Man to woman: Would you sleep with               me for one million                 dollars?

Woman: Sure.

Man: How about for one dollar?

Woman: What kind of woman do you          think I am?

Man: We've already established          what kind of woman you are.
     All we're doing is haggling        about the price.

Wednesday, October 12, 2016

The great oceans of truth lay all undiscovered before me

I remember scoring a proud A minus in calculus in my forties.  Today it is all blurred water under the bridge, a feat I doubt I could repeat as I am slowly turning into Charlie Gordon post-op.

And it is sad in a way inevitable inexorable and a few other in’s as well.

But on the other hand having my full faculties of my youth and much more and reading all the material I could cram in would not help either.

Like Newton I too will say:

“I don't know what I may seem to the world. But as to myself I seem to have been only like a boy playing on the seashore and diverting myself now and then in finding a smoother pebble or a prettier shell than the ordinary, whilst the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before me.”

Have I had read trillions of words I would still be limited by this human defective shell, this mankind highly defective brain.
A brain that argues against the spending of medical services especially if they are made by the state but has no qualms at all on military spending in the trillions of dollars.

In my Eloi utopia the best medical science is free for all and there is no such thing as totally unnecessary military budget and humongous wastes on weapons of mass murders.

There is no ignorance and mass hysteria frequently provoked by religious beliefs as they are recognised for what they are and have always been: a mental disease.

For one thing millions of people based their whole misogynous lives on the word of a manic man who fell from his horse FFS! 
I mean how credible would such an individual be today? 
Has anyone ever heard of temporal lobe damage and the hallucinations that come with it? DUH!

Besides other old texts created for power by the writers themselves left purposefully ambiguous for the purpose of escaping judgement and being caught at their conning game.  Apologetics and exegesis being nothing short of bullshit.

Our best scientific knowledge is lame and as solid as any other strange belief at times since we have a pattern of only seeing our errors a hundred years from now.

Who knows if the Big Bang theory will not be the joke of the 22nd century? Or any other extrapolation we are trying now with the very best minds we have.  So much conjuncture, pride, ignorance, and pettiness at the highest levels.

This Eloi without the Morlock dream was the best a human mind could produce as most attempts at utopias usually turned into dystopias considering the shortness of time we have “separated” from the apes.  

That John Lennon’s Imagine dream was just pretty words invented by a highly flawed human being not living up to his words for sure.

No countries, no religions, all races equals, no caste, no upstairs and downstairs separation, eventually considering our nature I would say no marriages either and some sort of test tube procreation and proper state education almost a la Huxley.

How many criminals should have had their parents on the chair instead? Really?

How much damage is created by unrealistic religious expectations?
How many times does one have to teach a young child to ponder on the words “if I die before I wake” to then expand on some local bullshit of their own of what happens after.

I am a silly idealist for sure and I like it that way. I even dislike the Huxleyan Alphas Deltas and Gammas even though we do need some practicality I understand and I can’t come out with a solution where the milk is delivered and there is no politician in charge.  For we all know that no human can handle power so far never did, never will.

Plus it doesn’t matter anyway because none of this will ever happen but it would make the best book ever though!

Thing is it might not be a best seller since happy  people have no history and there would be no drama to keep us entertained, no cult of the ugly like the current reality / idiocracy TV is feeding us daily with abusing ugly people and housewives and gogglebox and what not.  Pure trash to promote more trash and worst be happy in our trashy shit laying down in it and enjoying it in some form of schadenfreude from hell.

There would be no need for space exploration except for knowledge maybe as this planet would be properly treated and managed and resources and population wisely handled.  Space exploration as a future precaution only maybe for massive emigration when this sun collapses or some other cosmic calamity and by emigration I mean all of us not just a few rich fucks to expand their rich fuckery further in the universe.

Ideal economics now is always a stumbling block of all.  People with contentment working the excesses for the good of all is hard to imagine or even worse put in practice.  A moneyless world where all needs are perfectly met and beyond and all top medical attention is free and all science needs for the advancement of humanity are covered as well without arms build ups or hardly any accidents.

All the money invested in death transferred to life giving and extending instead.

Anyway one can always Dream On… the best escapism given to us.  

Makes me wonder what animal dreams are like now? Probably as basic as running from a dog or digging for some goodies and not extrapolating on the future of all mammals.

So Dream On everyone while we can.

Sunday, August 21, 2016

Remembrance of Things Past or Swan's Way

Revisiting the past here checking old comments I missed and the traffic or lack of thereof on my little tiny irrelevant dying blog.

223 chapters. 3 followers. (all rellies)
some hits here and there with a few over 100!


I did better with my YouTube channel hitting the jackpot with what I felt was missing back then. 

225,060 VIEWS on one video! 

Strangely enough my personal videos have hit the magic number of 25 which also seems to be the average on my blog. 

Wow! MVP here!

MIP even Most Influential Person on Earth!

Dec 5th 2009 nearly 7 years old 
and much water has passed under the bridge since.

As I reread myself and catch up on old missed rare comments I like what I see mostly. 
Sometimes I have no fucking clue of what I was talking about but eh that is me. 

It doesn't lessen what I consider gems in many of them and quotable quotations more valuable than Reader's Digest's.

So here it goes for number 224 anyway and what I consider 

my Legacy

my Book

My Mind

My Heart My Soul

What will be left of me for a short time after I am gone

My Ones and My Zeros

all my crazy little thoughts and opinions obviously one tracked and left sided

at 224 chapters I will soon compete with Tolstoy and Dostoevsky and even Proust himself.
Up there with Balzac and Dickens and the rest of them.

but so much better than them though! :)

Saturday, August 20, 2016

Open letter to Blizzard

Open letter to Blizzard

Who am I to complain right?

I am 60 years old I have been playing Diablo almost exclusively for 20 years now.

So what do I know? 

Well not that much since I have been playing solo most of my life and my amount of hours in D2 and D3 is past insane.
'Tis well known  that Blizzard hates the solo player.

Now the reason for this letter, pardon my French,
 is this cock up of a mess you made with the insane and totally unnecessary Helltooth Ring of Emptiness bullshit.

Your very worst so far, if I may say.

The Carnevil mess was a beauty also but this beats them all, 
it takes the cake. 

Besides all the other giant nerfs I forgot. 

I used to play the Demon Hunter a lot, I don’t anymore.

Strangely enough you make me feel like a helpless child again with a cruel mother who would use what you like to hurt you: 

-Oh so you LIKE this right? 

-Poof it’s gone now. 

Puerile Power Trip!

And then you have the gall to call it good news and always deny a nerf and are very much afraid to call a spade a spade in your pseudo-political world.

You could go on and fix REAL problems like the density in Grifts and stupid useless maps where one gets lost in a far corner and come back for miles wasting precious time in a tightly timed event, but no that would be too easy now.
Or hitting 2 shrines in a row to waste them on empty space for miles.

It is really time to move on from the abacus to proper maths device.

All I am trying to do here and maybe I am deluding myself is get somewhere close to a hundred without having to run mindless rifts as a support with an A-Team.  
Something that hard work and long hours should provide no?

Maybe it’s me, maybe I am getting too old for this game,
maybe I don’t understand the rules.

One thing I certainly don’t understand is your constant desire to destroy something that works: 

the good old “if it ain’t broke don’t fix it” comes to mind here.

So I HATE it! I am mad at you ever since. 

The new one shot Helltooth WD doesn’t work for me personally and I am not much of a fan of the Jade. 

Jade’s time was years ago before you fucked it up too.

So your player base is going smaller and smaller and maybe this is your endgame.  Keep your job while doing as little as possible.

On a positive mode I should say that the Kanai cube was a good move and that to have an order of bounties acts to follow is pure evil as far as addiction and dopamine is concerned. Add to this a couple of rainbow goblins in the chase and you got a nice time wasting night drawing close to sunrise. Kudos to your shrinks for that.

But say what you will and hide in your mistakes with pride if you like
but the ROE business STINKS~! 


If I had one wish and one way I’d say put it back now.

(Mind you later note here at this point I don’t really care anymore.)

To add oil to the fire, it is very long and arduous and time-consuming for me to Caldesaan one character to its maximum value for me, my maximum being high 70s.
And I had just spend days if not weeks Caldesaaning my Helltooth on the information I was given at the time. 
I try to reach an average of 77 since 13 times 77 gives me a nice 1000 round total kind of.  

If I had the right info I might have Caldesaaned  the Jade instead or even the Unhallowed or any other char.

So please tell me which one is next on your nerfing axe list so I don’t waste my time AGAIN.

Anyway it’s just me one old player getting tired of my love/hate relationship with Blizzard.  

I quit once I can quit again I suppose not that it matters to you but your early days of D3 were too much for me and ROS had brought me back with joy.

The customer is always right! Right? :)

It had to be said despite the full forum of complaints about it that nobody reads.


Plus obviously according to the leaderboard in season 7 your evil scheme hasn’t worked and Jade is STILL not cutting it.

ALSO the new HT build is just plain ugly. 

Sacrificing survivability for the extra power needed now
i.e. Confidential Ritual AND Pierce the Veil instead of Spirit Vessel
making the build a one shot death strongly depending on the timing of Spirit Walk which itself is strongly dependant on the power of killing.
Grave Injustice = no deaths no cooldown and therefore YOUR death.

Not mentioning how stupid and frustrating the build is in barracks like mazes with lots of doors and barriers. 

At least with haunt we could open a bloody door.

So what are you waiting for to see the light and admit you have made a huge mistake here?

No bloody wonder the advocate of this ROE change Tchevs and Co. are HC.  

They don’t give much of a hoot about power being all about sustainability.

Mean pure petty puerile evil if you ask me.
Kids whining: well if I can’t have power neither can they. 
Neener Neener Neener!
Get off your HC superiority complex and try SC with the rest of us.

Now I got this off my chest your turn to do nothing about it.

Addendum to the addendum

You're always welcome to provide feedback on our forums in a constructive manner. I spend time every day reading them.

And this is when I decided that my frivolous, non-pc, non-”constructive” thoughts would go on my unread blog instead.

What an Orwellian world we live in where people want to hear sugar-coated meaningless words. Where they will respond with more sugar-coated meaningless words.

Mind you if I was customer service I might not want to hear the likes of me either! :P

Another non-constructive thought I forgot about this witch doctor fuckery of theirs is how utterly fucking dumb these infamous Gargantuans are. 

In the age of Moore’s Law one would think today’s AI should be better than 10 years ago right? WRONG! 

They are as D.A.F.T. (Dumb As Fuck Turds) as the skeletons were 10 years ago getting lost miles behind at the slightest curve in the maze.  

Those big annoying noisy fuckers can stay right next to the Rift Guardian, I mean one or two yards even, and do absolutely fuck all watching you die mindlessly. 

Talk about retards! 

They say God created man to his image, well the gargs were created at the devs' image for sure: D.A.F.T. * see description above

So what is the point of all this you say as everyone is a fucking Napoleon and it only awakes man’s best feature: 
Self-righteousness, justification 
and the favourite of serial killers: Rationalisation.  

In a world without justice or reason.

There is no point like everything else in life just an expression of emotions and opinion.

Opinion I am full entitled too with 2o years on the game, 60 years of age,

 and 5,000 hours on D3 alone 

despite my year off.

Maybe not top league like Quinn and such but certainly a good minor league at best.

Not too many top leagues left anyway after the great culling with some exceptions for some favourites obviously.

So there goes nothing, up with the wind little opinion of mine, dust in the wind marooned somewhere.

P.S. it is well known that older players are disadvantaged at video games and 2 seconds goes much faster at 60 than it does at 30 but still I would like to see ONE build capable of doing 100 solo.  I would tend to affirm here that it is impossible alone as one needs multiplayers games to get his gems to 100+.  I don't think you can have gems at 100+ when your max solo is 90.  

Preferably the ones with cheats that haven't been caught yet; Like this well known barb/sader who seems to know very well where all the pylons are but yet is still on as if nothing was.

Actually anyone who follows/plays with  such an individual is guilty by association and guilty of profiting from its illegal gains.

I do understand also that once this is done the whole level of the game will be raised as well by multiplayers and the new goal would be like 150 now so it is probably a Catch 22 either way.

and I also understand I am certainly not even part of your demographics so technically I don't count at all.