Long epilogue

 

We all see our lives as stories, it seems to me, and I am convinced that psychologists and sociologists and historians and so on would find it useful to acknowledge that. If a person survives an ordinary span of sixty years or more, there is every chance that his or her life as a shapely story has ended, and all that remains to be experienced is epilogue. Life is not over, but the story is. ~ Kurt Vonnegut

And all the bla bla bla bullshit bullshit bullshit about the difference between existing and living.

It seems to me at time that this epilogue is getting a little long, longer and longer and the prospects are not really rosy.

Can't read, can't learn new games, constantly fighting anhedonia : one of my favourite obscure word.

Now as silly as it sounds I lost my mojo again on all games D2 is getting a little too much Last Epoch is gone, Grim Dawn is long gone and might never be back: I didn't even download it on new computer (April 1st,2021) Last Epoch might have lost me and right now the only "salvation" is in the fact that there is a new season on D3 coming somewhere in mid-December and like Pavlov's dog I'll be there salivating as I have been for the past 24 seasons, roughly 6 years BUT IN THE MEANWHILE I AM IN LIMBO.

Anyway my first world problem at the mo just one in nearly 8 billion other peeps with probs.

I might get a new wave in D2 later on Who knows about the mysterious laws of mojos?

But one thing is steady though and disheartening it is the fact that this memory is fading. At a normal or abnormal speed who is to tell?

Most nights I can't remember what we are going to watch as I don't remember what we watch last night and even better I can rewatch a show over and over cuz I don't remember fuck all of my first viewing and sometimes it was quite recent like a month or two not a year or ten.

And that leaves me in a state of Charlie Gordon despair.

Good ole Charlie he is always a staple of my story.

Referring of course to my favourite book: Flowers for Algernon

I don't even want to try to extrapolate where all this is going to lead now.

We all know where entropy is leading us all: to the Great Equaliser! Where all worries all sickness all pain will be gone.

to finish with Vonnegut again EVERYTHING WAS BEAUTIFUL AND NOTHING HURT

Ex Nihilo

 

Ex Nihilo back to Nihilo

One big word today that somewhat irritates me is 

CREATOR

A big word on YouTube and the Internet way overused.

I mean if you look at the average content on YouTube these "Creators" are nothing short of Clickbait Con Artists some sort of modern P.T. Barnum seeking their new suckers or attracting their old ones.

Most Streamers come to mind here and this doctor Grande sticking his nose in just about any subject he thinks will bring him a few clicks.

It's a sad world really to rely on money making schemes like being an "influencer" FFS.  

Some streamers and YouTubers really INFLUENCE the economy or the economy of their game anyway. This Matt guy just has to post a new build for this new weapon or armor to go sky high in prices and way out of reach for the hoi polloi some sort of gaming gentrification.

I mean it must be so hard to come up with new bullshit time after time. I mean the money is good but talk about boring more boring than your regular boring grinding in a game anyway.

When I am not gaming (bipolar cycle in motion here) I usually hover over like 3 sites and most and usually depressing ones as social media are meant to be I think.

Facebook, YouTube, and 9GAG.

I mean I am not a Twitter at all nor an Instagrammer. Not my style prolly not my generation.

YouTube especially lately is a source of despair and depression especially those streamers selling their fantasy or straight out lying 

Where to find this 1 in 49,000 thousands chance item!

REALLY? Easy peasy fucking math! 

Do the run 49, 000 times and maybe just MAYBE you will get it and that is not going too deep in statistical chances with my luck make that 98,000 times and then some.

Besides all the other stuff they have to come up with.
Thoughty2 is another example of try hard hit and miss one too.

This makes me really wish I could read but that is pretty well that:

wishful thinking.

Hell I can't even get into a new video game these days.

I thought Grim Dawn was my last one and then came Last Epoch and I try to go back to it lately and it's like I never played it at all.

Hell I keep making the same mistakes over in over in games I have been playing for like 20 years.

Something in me wishes I could just lie down and read all of Dostoyevsky in just one sit but that won't happen.

Hell game that look quite interesting like Factorio of Stardew Valley drain all energy out of me just watching the first video.

This OLD DOG is really really done with NEW TRICKS methinks.

So wherewithal shall an old man find his way to paraphrase the old psalm? :)

Which brings me back to the good ole book again somehow lol 

well that is another thing I have known for many many years

o well t'will do for now

I hate sites that don't let you paste photos :P