MEMORIES

 It's March, winter time in Canada, you go home for lunch since the school is just a couple of blocks away, you eat your soup and you say some stupid teenager thing I guess, first thing you know as you bend down to slurp your soup your mother from hell slaps you really hard in the back of the head and doing so slams your face into your bowl of boiling soup. You scream in rage and run out of the table, you grab your coat on your way out but mother from hell wrestles you with it and plays tug of war and wins as you let her fall on her ass in the stairwell.

You're out in March with your shirt on. You can't go to school because mother from hell is gonna track you there and humiliate you some more.

So you hang around til you can't take the cold anymore and you have to go back home with your tail between your legs.

The school next day gives you 9 detentions, 3 per period you missed. You already have 6 detentions a week because Sister Graziella Hurtibise the music teacher took a dislike to you and banned you from her class so you're in til the end of the year HELL they might keep you in detention for the summer vacations.

My sister the year after ended up in Sister Graziella Hurtibise the year after the only thing she heard was 

You're a CAISSY? OUT! OUT! OUT! 

She was traumatised and I had ruined the name forever.

But yeah Runaway Train been there done that shooting crystal meth in back alleys taking acid with my redneck half brother and he went to dob me in so I was in no hurry to go home again,

They say music is a time machine so there it goes

THOUGHTS WHILE THEY LAST

 I was reading just yesterday that a man has on average 6000 thoughts a day and I thought to myself: What a small number I am sure I  beat that every day.

André Fortin (Colocs) said in one of his song I just relived 100, 000 other lives in 1 second and as a bipolar too I can UNDERSTAND that.

L'histoire du monde pis mon histoire sont mélangées
J'viens juste de r'vivre cent milles autres vies en une seconde
Toutes mes conneries pis l'ambition de l'humanité
Ça r'vient au même
Y'a pas d'coupable, y'a pas de honte

I can UNDERSTAND that and I can relate to his world.

Mind you most meditators and Buddhists and many others will tell you that if you OBSERVE these trillion thoughts you soon realize they are pointless and moot and purposeless and downright useless AND they might have a point 

• Batty: I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time... like tears in rain... Time to die.
  
  because as 
  Rutger Hauer / Batty says  ALL WILL BE LOST IN TIME 
  
  But still they are at times entertaining while we are alive 
  All the WHYS and HOWS and WHEN and WHAT
  Why is man so utterly stupid?
  How does he manage not to see? 
  When is he gonna realize?
  and What is he never?
  
  NEVER: Which is more than likely the only logical extrapolation possible 
  
  EXTRAPOLATION is such a beautiful word rarely used and understood or even thought of in this world.
  
  How many words have been wasted to try to understand?
  How many speeches?
  How many writings in how many languages.
  
  I mean I understood at 14 that the world is a bad place a sad place a terrible place to live but as Dean Ford from Marmalade said: I DON'T WANNA DIE
  
  (slightly upset at the mo that duckduckgo has gone to the dark  side and the first link they give you now is as Van the Man says TRYING TO SELL YOU SOME TRIPE or SHITE as I prefer)
  
  Any hoot typing this one live as we speak straight on my blog as opposed to me usually typing a Word document first but with my usual Kerouac style of 
  STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS 
  WHILE I am Still Conscious.
  I mean Dead and Alzheimer's and Dementia people as a rule 
  don't write blogs.
  Mind you with billions of others writing blogs or doing podcasts or short reels the Huxleyan Noise is relentless.
  
  I got 28 minutes before my FLOW is interrupted as I started that just before Tea Time
  
  But what is there more to say that I haven't said already? that hasn't been said? 
  
  We do live in a very chaotic world these days and my trip to Canada may even be postponed! Time will tell.
  
  But on the subject of religion and gods and free will I could go on on  these forever. 
  Of course there is no answer and that might be the whole point of life :
  THERE IS NO ANSWER! 
  the best minds are far from being enough and as I mentioned many many times 
  WE ARE DEFECTIVE ENGINEERING 
  blinded by hubris and greed and trauma and suffering and there is no answer again 
  what did the Moody Blues say about that? 
  
  Revolution never won
  It's just another form of gun
  (so many people, so many people)
  To do again what they have done 
  
  
  • what did the Moody Blues say about that? 
    that whole song says it all Lost in a lost world 
    
    https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/moodyblues/lostinalostworld.html
    
    Anyway that 70 number is weighing on me lately thinking that the years ahead of me are so much shorter than the years behind me as I am trying to remember too the years behind me and my long long pilgrimage 
    MY PEREGRINATION and
    HOLY FUCK
    DID I EVER 
    PEREGRINATE :P 
    
    Anyway after I am gone and nothing but Ashes at the bottom of the Indian Ocean when all these bones and skins and fat and what not are gone in vapor and ashes when this brain is reduced to powder some of my words here might last just a little longer than me and I hope they find a reader or two
    
    I still find some pearls in this blog among this ton of manure that I wrote but that is what life is all about 
    finding pearls in manure until one becomes the MANURE, The fertilizer the SHIT that makes things grow and feeds other new form of lives. 
    
    So while this shit is still breathing I will lay some moments here which have a better chance to leave a mark than the thousands of hours I spent playing video game but then again one apparently needs a hobby :P  
    Something to do with not tending the bow all the time so it is still useful  when you want to use it
    
    Speaking of using it or losing it I am not much different than the rest of us as the zeitgeist in turning us all into mush 
    we will become the marmalade soon
    Back soon I hope