MORE EMPTY SOUNDS

Which is exactly what KENOPHON means;
EMPTY (keno) SOUNDS (phon) 
BABBLER 
so WHILE WE ARE RAMBLING
Thought I could include this little paragraph I just wrote to put it down in my LEGACY :P  

People make a religion of everything and soon turn it into an ugly cult.

Thousands of children are starved and killed, babies arms flying everywhere, blood flowing in the streets but yeah let's discuss the drawing of storyboards by machines now and how OUTRAGEOUS it is.

We have totally lost the meaning of OUTRAGE!!!

not sure if it was in an Orwellian way or an Huxleyan way but it has been used against us to USE us, to numb us

The good old Us and Them . Divide and Conquer

My useless opinion is the man is 80+ and has accomplished more than you will ever do in your life so leave him the fuck alone if he wants to use as machine for his boards after having drawn thousands of them

PURISTS CULTISTS SELF-RIGHTEOUS PRICKS

put them all on a big BASKET to the bottom of HELL

I am better than you, I am CHOSEN has never led us anywhere good as we human are big on the Tall Poppy Syndrome But it wasn't the main subject that triggered this blog 
Been on way way too much social media lately and we all know how detrimental they are.

Going to Bali soon I have been inundated with every TOM and Harry Dick who has ever been anywhere and has a GoPRO. 

I have been kind of following a couple of them reluctantly.

For one thing there seems to be a stupid rule I hate and some of these guys feel forced to ramble for 30 mins plus which is beyond my shrunk attention span, there seems to be a rule where you are paid by the minute and I guess in 30 mins also you can include so many ads, not that I would know because I fucking hate ADS with a passion and I never see one. got all sort of protections against that both on the PC and on the phone.

Anyway they feel compelled to ramble on forever making the ratio of quality to quantity very small plus they also confessed that they are kind of forced to make 3 to 4 videos a week otherwise they fall into the ninth circle of hell of ALGORITHM

P.S. I do realise that as a dying old man I am not part of the main demographics :P  

I mean I can fucking RAMBLE ON I am sure we all know but to be forced to do it would be totally against my grain.
I mean look at my blog and what a roller coaster ride it has been now leading to a nice slow boat ride to China.

I have never converted my blog to a vlog except for one or twice in Canada when I was stuck with a phone and I would never type a whole blog on the phone now.

Plus it just ain't my nature. 

Anyway little blog don't rejoice too much lol 2
days in a row
but you could have a one year drought in no time
if not a permanent eternal drought.

a complete 

aridity, dehydration, aridness, desiccation, dryness, moisturelessness, rainlessness, parchedness and waterlessness.

a total 

shortage, lack, famine, deficiency, deficits, scarcity, inadequacy, absence; 

Absolute OBLIVION AND NOTHINGNESS FOREVER

But back to them streamers, YouTubers. 
To me most of them are absolute total FREAKS 
HUBRISTIC LITTLE PRICKS with a camera

Hell I could be a HUBRISTIC PRICK with my blog for all I know even if I delude myself in thinking I don't do it for others but mainly to decipher my "thoughts" on "PAPER" and to leave some sort of a legacy to friends and family bit maybe this blog is what it has always been:
A BAROMETER OF MY DECLINING MENTAL HEALTH.

Anyway as she used to say before she died:

IT IS WHAT IT IS.

Another one of my worthless thought I was (as I have been doing way too much lately) watching a short reel where this bloke was pontificating on red flags as if he was a fucking expert 

[ BTW many many of these loud mouths do nothing short of 
FREUDIAN PROJECTION , an evil defense mechanism]

So Mr Know-it-all here . 1st flag when your date says my ex was crazy ok check I will settle for that now 

For one thing everyone’s fucking ex was a fucking narcissistic pig because he didn’t worship me, or understand me, or cater to me or lost his will and everything to me.

Who is narcissistic now pray tell?

I even wrote a blog about that once  

no 2 I forgot but when it came with no 3 that is when I said FOAD and clicked next 

no3 When someone says I am NOT into labels 

FOAD arrogant asshole LOL 

Most of my therapists have always been against labels and though I have been diagnosed as bipolar I do not identify myself to a single label as we are all individuals with trillions of shades: not two of us are alike.

I prefer to Identify myself as a Mental MONGREL 
like Whitman I am MULTITUDES
            (I am large, I contain multitudes.)

(Mind you Kraft Dinner keeps identifying me as a family of four :P ) 

I mean if I was to name a few and not necessarily in order:

My last "shrink" says I am on the extreme level on
DEPRESSION and ANXIETY 
It's a bit like being claustrophobic AND agoraphobic at the same time :P 

I GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE 
ARRRGH! NO I CAN'T
I GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE 
ARRRGH! NO I CAN'T
I GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE 
ARRRGH! NO I CAN'T rinse and repeat 

ALSO I am quite certain to be somewhere up there on the autistic scale add to this ADHD and some sort of OCD and many other shades of MADNESS
Wish to FUCK I could read a book like in the old days 
There was a time back in my old days where I would read an author madly like 7 books AND A HALF , 9 books AND A HALF  (John Irving and L.M. Montgomery come to mind )

And I say AND A HALF here  because I ALWAYS ALWAYS DIED in the middle of a book and could never touch it again or go back to it 

I have always rationalised this as having no control
(whatever is said about freewill and the locus of control) 

I am a sailing ship in the middle of an ocean and if and WHEN the WIND blows I am fucking unstoppable but when the wind stops for reasons unknown I am totally stuck in the middle of a vast ocean with not even a single oar waiting for the fucking wind to come back 

So there you go little blog as I am stuck here between gaming seasons and Bali trips 

Another NEURODIVERGENT thingy apparently 
(here is ANOTHER LABEL) 
is that when we have an appointment in the middle of the day our whole day is fucked and when we have a trip in less than 2 weeks well our whole month is fucked if not more 

If that wind keeps up there might be a blog or two before I leave but I never know  as it is said in the gospels LOL 

Linguistic Wordplay: The Greek word pneuma (and Hebrew ruach) means both "wind" and "spirit,"

So as the great Zoroastrian Prophet Farrokh Bulsara once said 

Nothing really matters
Anyone can see
Nothing really matters
Nothing really matters to me

Any way the wind blows

OFF THE CUFF

 or Stream of Consciousness as Kerouac called it IIRC 

so many things all entangled and yet some sort of a continuous An ARADNEAN  thread in there  somewhere. 

Troubled as many and yet trying not to be by all the troubles in the world and by the constant flow, wait not flow,
 some constant TSUNAMI of bombardments about the Orange Clown climbing the Mount Everest of Outrage, Ugliness, and Stupidity and unprecedented damage too that will take decades to reverse.

And even more by the utter POWERLESSNESS that follows, by the absolute impunity and total lack of boundaries and the ratio of Words to Actions here which is astronomically SMALL as no one does fuck all but be an utterly  useless keyboard warrior and giving the narcissistic clown what he wants: attention.
 Yours Truly here guilty as charged too.

And also my the puppet holders and their complete impunity and utter lack of retributive justice.

I was just reading about them lately ASSASSINATING the latest Hamas leader: Mohammed Odeh, not by retraction or arrest or nothing like that nah just using the latest technology to locate him and spend millions to shred him to pieces him and HIS WIFE and 3 of his children, not mentioning anyone in a 100 meters radius I guess. 
I have said it before the not so cute euphemism Collateral Damage means babies arms and body parts flying in the air or some Vietnamese girl burnt to a crisp running and crying in terror

It reminded me of this scene in Scarface where Pacino / Tony Montana got into a world of troubles because he had PRINCIPLES, PRINCIPLES that many gangsters and hard criminals also have: No Women and No Children. END OF.

Not quite sure what happened and when but it seems to me we lost something important along the way. 
Cointelpro Lies and Deceit Big Money Schemes and so on.

Sure there has been darkness for thousands of years and there still is I mean COLONIALISM and PILLAGING AND RAPING AND MURDERING happens every single fucking day and we all are guilty of it by some association somehow. 

I mean if you are British or French or Dutch or Spanish or Portuguese GUILTY as FUCK.
 (Belgian with the Congo etc etc) 
They have all done it and they too thought they were invincible and more importantly INNOCENT AS FUCK. 

I am often reminded of this old Proverbs verse 

20Such is the way of an adulterous woman; she eateth, and wipeth her mouth, and saith, I have done no wickedness.

I mean SELF RIGHTEOUSNESS is the only sin and UGLY AS FUCK 

and I too like Asaph sometimes in Psalm 73 

16 When I thought to know this, it was too painful for me;

But UNLIKE Asaph I can't escape in lies and deceptions and delusional escape.

I guess the human mind is not able to comprehend reality and perspective and all these HUGE numbers are too much to fathom. 

The weight of the pains and hurts and suffering in this world is immeasurable. Mine and 8 billions more multiplied daily. 

Now I am not even getting about the fact that even though we the human race are able to write and communicate about of pains but trillions of life forms SUFFER every single second on this planet would it be a cat ran over by a car or a mother antelope who just lost her baby to the law of the jungle. 

16 When I thought to know this, it was too painful for me;

Somehow we have to compartmentalize our view of reality

I can  only hope things settle down a little but then again I am also thinking of the incoming preliminaries as Leonard Cohen called it.

At 70 I read the obituaries every day (have done so for years) and a fuckton of people kick the bucket in their 70s.

Anyhow I ran out of juice but you get the gist as always or you don't as I kind of know no one is reading this just leaving it as a trail of my last thoughts like HAL and Charlie Gordon

and all these words will be lost soon like tears in the rain 

The funniest most ironic part is I wouldn't  even read myself as I don't have the span of attention anymore .
I curse and moan at every fucking YouTuber rambling for 30 mins as it seems to be one rule of money making and obviously I am not in the marketing target

The photo above reminded me also of all the horrors we see in John Lennon's video the war is over. 
The deaths, the innocents, the years and years of maiming and suffering etc.

16 When I thought to know this, it was too painful for me; 

Anyway again what is the point eh?  
Back to my ancient Zoroastrian Prophet here: 
NOTHING REALLY MATTERS IT IS CLEAR TO SEE
Nothing really matters.... to me ♫♪♫

and I haven't even covered my own little trivial pains here 
my pains and aches my fucking elbow hurting every day my grieving over my youngest daughter or even my cat not mentioning the daily challenge of conjugal bliss as I would NOT live with myself  I AM IMPOSSIBLE, FUBAR Scarred beyond repair and patiently waiting for deliverance 

I would be funner if I believed in the fairy tales that I will be reunited with my daughter and my cat but NAH.
Darkness and Oblivion : It is what it is,

Reminds me of the joke that got Stephen Fry kicked out of a Mormon gathering where the preacher was saying in eternity you will be reunited with you family
And Stephen Fry asked Yeah but what about if you were GOOD?   LMAO 
An eternity with my mum is what I would call the most cruel hell She had done enough damage already 

End of Cuff and Stream of CONSCIOUNESS or what is left of it anyway