No such thing as a new beginning

A man lies and dreams of green fields and riversBut awakes to a morning with no reason for wakingHe’s haunted by the memory of a lost paradiseIn his youth or a dream, he can’t be preciseHe’s chained forever to a world that’s departedIt’s not enough, it’s not enough

When I was a child, I caught a fleeting glimpseOut of the corner of my eyeI turned to look, but it was goneI cannot put my finger on it nowThe child is grown, the dream is gone

Pink Floyd and many other
philosophers and poets I guess
Got the Gist.

We were given a brain to dream of better things
(well some of us were anyway)
but that's all we can do: DREAM

We can imagine a paradise a nirvana a Valhalla 
THE GREATEST UTOPIA EVER DREAMT
but we can't live it.

In fact our worst nightmares are made of just that
Dreaming of a perfect balloon
and waking up to a sad reality
just to have it busted.

And we are left like a child crying for that balloon full of hot air.

We feel like one song says like a 12 year boy whose bike has just been stolen.

I don't suppose any apes or any other life forms dream of a better life now do they?  

The Pandora gift of Consciousness
 is our personal curse.

Maybe Rusty Cohle was right and Consciousness is an evolutionary MISTAKE.

We can dream it, write it in books, imagine it BUT
WE CAN'T LIVE IT.
We don't have what it takes 
to MAKE it 
just enough barely 
to THINK it.

One could ask why til one gets blue in the face but I cannot agree with Camus here that we MUST imagine Sisyphus  HAPPY?

Are you out of your fucking mind?

Might as well imagine the donkey at the stone wheel happy too while we're at it.

Sorrow switched to Marooned now and the feeling is amplified.

Marooned in Hell or Purgatory or Limbo
or whatever other mythical world
was thought of
but certainly not in this perfect place
which we will never attained.

Funny thing is one of the reason this perfect place will never be attained is that it is an INDIVIDUAL perfect place.

You see your perfect place is not my perfect place and there are

7,758,286,500 perfect places on this planet.

Mind you it is a bit of an imagination since one does not begin really to HAVE a perfect place at birth it comes more with the territory of consciousness and memories.

And moreover and more importantly my perfect place of today
is not the same as my perfect place of yesterday and so on

Hell it could change again in 5 minutes

so it is hard to pinpoint as Ani says.

Yes they're buying and sellingOff shares of airAnd you know it's all around youBut it's hard to point and say "there"So you just sit on your handsAnd quietly contemplate

I don't suppose Utopias are written either
by 64 year old tired and depressed ancient?

The Bliss can only be produced artificially
AND temporarily.

So here it goes for my first blog of 2020
SSDD or SSDY rather.
or SSDD still Same Shit Different Decade. 

There must be a reason why Comfortably Numb is one of my favourite song.

Speaking of I had an interesting experience last year while having lunch with a mate of mine.

I was really enjoying myself maybe a bit too much even and I really enjoyed the music but it took me FAR TOO LONG to realise that it was "Comfortably Numb" that was playing and it scared me shitless.

Hell if I get to the point where I don't recognise my fav music of all time
somebody better pull the fucking plug

When the Music is Over
You can Turn Out the Light.

Shine on Me Crazy Diamond


P.S. There is no such thing as a new beginning.