Tuesday, June 8, 2010



Decisions, Decisions Again!

To sit here passively and watch the latest Alice in Wonderland or try to go down the rabbit hole myself and find out how deep it really goes or maybe a bit of both? Watch it and then write about it as previously planned or even with maybe a new addition or two.

Both activities seem equally futile! :)

I`ll never find anything concrete down that hole I am afraid, just add on to the countless pondering and musing on the purpose of life and all that jazz... another exercise in futility where thousands pretended to have decipher the code of all this illusional and delusional world, leaving me either with a deeper abyss of darkness or some new delusion to impose to my wannabe disciple that could worship my brilliance and my narcissistic navel.

Mind you it does seem more profitable to get my little brain gears going on their own and pondering all they wish so when I am old and grey I will be a sharper fool for lack of a sharper tool.

But the phrase `to no avail` keeps popping in my tired mind though... surrounded by things I can`t explain or excuse or exwhatsoever.

Used to be don`t count anymore says Neil Diamond but we all ARE `used to be`s` or we will be soon enough anyway.

Used to be on this planet for a short while now he is gone and we don’t know where but we like to pretend we know, it`s comforting and soothing, so much better than the depth of the abyss of doubt and fear and just not knowing.

Googling my own handle I fell on this :

Kenophon Cassius WHEELER in Fairfax, Vt. EST 07 Jan 1865 30 Jan 1893 in Portland, Oregon

I kind of liked the name and the anonymity of someone who lived for just over 28 years more than 100 years ago: one of many many BILLIONS who have passed through this big asteroid.

Someone must have loved him but does anyone remember him now is the question and the bigger ask is WHERE is he NOW?

Not quite happy here to be among the `bungled and the botched` but is the other option better really whether I am remembered to be a Hitler or a Jesus what`s the diff? Is it going to hurt my ethereal feelings if there is such a thing? So what`s happening with KCW today and did he leave a trail somewhere? Did he `prolong` his life on earth by leaving some progenitors that are still around somewhere between Vermont and Portland? And moreover and subsequently what the hell does it matter to me? Or as Jesus would say: `What is THAT to THEE?`

Joh 21:21 Peter seeing him saith to Jesus, Lord, and what shall this man do?

Joh 21:22 Jesus saith unto him, If I will that he tarry till I come, what is that to thee? follow thou me. Joh 21:23 Then went this saying abroad among the brethren, that that disciple should not die: yet Jesus said not unto him, He shall not die; but, If I will that he tarry till I come, what is that to thee?

So Alice will have to wait a bit and Kansas as well in the meanwhile I`ll try to find the answer to


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